So I’ve been reading wedding recaps on here for the longest time. I’ve been lurking since before we were even engaged. The thing I love most about recaps is finding out about all the little quirks different cities, countries and cultures have in the weddings so I’m hoping you find my Scottish city wedding interesting!
Photos
Short video montage
Engagement length: 18 months
Location: Glasgow, Scotland, UK
General Date: Friday in June
Guest Count: 60 day guests / 55 evening guests (115 total during evening reception)
In the UK we have “day guests” who are usually close friends and family- they’re there for the ceremony, meal and evening reception. Then “evening guests” who come after the meal just for the party at night- for us these were co-workers and distant cousins.
Approx Budget: £11k
Us as a couple: Both 27. Been together ~ 8 years, lived together for 2 years. Professional jobs, home owners.
As far as I know weddings in Scotland tend to be cheaper than the rest of the UK- especially London.
We didn’t have a specific theme and we were both so relaxed about wedding planning. My Gran’s partner (who is heavy annoying) kept winding me up during planning like “Oh are you worried it’s not going to be perfect?” Honestly- no! We just accepted there was going to be some kind of drama or mass failure and rolled with it.
Budget Breakdown:
Venue: £1,000
We got married in Glasgow’s oldest bar- opened in 1797. It’s right in the city centre which was convenient for us. It meant we didn’t have to organise transport for all our guests as there are so many easy public transport links. We absolutely loved this venue. Most wedding venues we looked at were hotels and while they’re SO beautiful to look at on the outside (usually converted castles, old estate houses etc) the thought of having our wedding ceremony in what was essentially a hotel conference room felt really flat- especially as we both go to lots of conferences for work. The pub we got married in has a ballroom on the top floor which is used for Ceilidhs and of course the whole place just had that pub smell of beer soaked into wood which I LOVE,
Takeaway: So we did the risky thing and booked this venue without signing a contract or anything. Our wedding co-ordinator at the venue was really hands off and laid back and we only met in person once- everything else was over email. She was so nice and nothing was too much trouble but I think we were a particularly low maintenance couple. I’ve been to this pub many times and (even though the TripAdvisor reviews are overwhelmingly average) I love the food, atmosphere and selection of gins so I wasn’t too interested in reading other people’s reviews.
DJ: £685 for 6 hours
We found our DJ on Facebook and booked him online. He was so knowledgeable about our venue and the layout and sent a really nice, long introductory email explaining his prices, experiences and how he envisioned our day. We had a skype meeting a few weeks before the wedding where we discussed our music- must-plays and no-plays. Because of venue is famous for hosting traditional Scottish Ceilidh’s, we also decided to have one at the start of the evening reception but it didn’t go ahead (will explain further down).At the end of the night the traditional last song at a Scottish wedding is called “Loch Lomond”. Everyone stands in a circle and the bride and groom dance in the middle then everyone runs in towards the couple and back out again during the chorus. I have been to so many weddings that I didn’t even realise this was a mad Scottish thing until our English and Polish friends who had travelled here for the wedding were like WTF?! The ballroom is built on beams so the floor was literally bouncing up and down. It was incredible. Our DJ posted on his Facebook page the next day that it felt like a gig instead of a wedding which mace us so happy - for us it just showed how much fun everyone was having dancing the night away.
Takeaway: This DJ could read the room so well. He was so funny and didn’t MC too much. He made sure to walk round the tables and ask people for requests and make sure they were enjoying the music which was so nice of him. He totally got the party vibe of our wedding and the music went exactly how we wanted.
Catering: £3000
So again, weddings in Scotland/ the UK are particularly long (usually between 10-12 hours) so people tend to get fed twice. Usually a sit-down main meal (called the wedding breakfast) is served for the day guests (ours was served at 5pm) then an evening buffet for the evening guests and day guests who are hungry from all the dancing (ours was served at 9pm)
Our wedding breakfast menu for our 60 evening guest was:
Starter: Goats cheese salad, antipasti platter or haggis pakora
Main: Venison lasagna, Rainbow trout and chorizo or beer battered halloumi.
Dessert: Lemon cheesecake, chocolate fudge cake or cheeseboard
Open bars really aren’t the norm in Scotland because we have such a heavy drinking culture. But we got everyone a welcome glass of prosecco, ½ bottle of wine with their meal and another glass of prosecco for the speeches.
Our evening buffet was breakfast rolls with bacon, sausage and egg (again this sounds really weird but it’s not uncommon here), mac and cheese, salad and french fries.
For drinks we planned on having a cash bar BUT my mum and dad ended up putting a tab behind the bar which we didn’t expect. It was so kind of them and our guests were so surprised.
Takeaway: We only heard good things from our guests. The food was really the highlight of my day because I was starving!! It was so important to me that we had good food. And the gin selection at our venue was amazing- I was so happy with my parma violet flavoured gin all night!
Photographer: £5958 hours, single shooter, photo download only- no album. I cared a lot about photos so we did so much research on finding the perfect photographer. Ours was very inexpensive compared to photographers in our area (usually about £1500 is average here) but he hadn’t been working as a full time photographer for long. He had a great folio and we wanted a documentary/fine-art style with very few staged pictures and he ticked all the boxes.
Takeaway: Our photographer totally captured the day as it happened. We obviously checked the boxes and got those stages/posed shots with our mums and dads etc. but I am so thoroughly in love with our photos.
**Videographer: £1300.**1 shooter for 8 hours- 4 minute edited video montage and a 1.5hour feature length film. This was documentary.fine art style too and we absolutely adored our videographer. It was such a pleasure to have him shoot the day. He had such good banter with my husband who was especially nervous and made him feel so at ease.
Invitations, stamps, etc: £197We didn’t do Save The Dates or RSVP’s. We sent our guest a single sided A5 postcard style invite with the address of our wedding website on the front. It worked out great! And for the postage Royal Mail were doing limited edition Marvel stamps which were sure a cute touch :) Our invites and thank you cards were both done on printed.com using a design I made on Canva. Also highly recommend using a wedding website. We used gettingmarried.co.uk and the only person who had trouble using it was one of my MILs friends- even my gran found it easy!
Flowers: £415
I’m so lucky that one of my co-workers is training to become a wedding florist. She’s done a few weddings in the past for friends and family and I loved her big, natural, leafy style and so became her first paying client! We don’t know much about flowers so we were happy to let her do her own thing. She made 1 bridal bouquet, 4 bridesmaids bouquets, 4 flower crowns, 10 buttonholes and 3 centrepieces (we had 7 tables and used the bridesmaids bouquets for the other centrepieces).
Venue decor: £510
I LOOOOOVED OUR VENUE DECOR. This included chair covers, candles, aisle runner and best of all- a fairy light canopy over the danceflooceremony area. It was just magical- like something from a fairy tale.
Takeaway: This is something I really wanted even though it was quite a big expense. I’m so glad we did it. People always talk about “oh you’ll never remember what the table covers or XYZ looked like on your wedding day” but I’ll remember the way I felt when I walked into the room and saw that magical fairy light canopy and rose petal scattered aisle for the rest of my life. The venue dresser was SO lovely too. MY husband and I were the last people to leave the venue at 2am and by that time she had turned up to take down all the decor. She was so excited to meet us because she says she never gets to see couples on their wedding day! (We’re just party animals haha)
Other Decor: £150
I’m actually struggling to put a figure on this because it was just wee bits and bobs here and there that I didn’t add to our spreadsheet. An easel and a display board for our seating chart, vases for our centrepieces, printed polaroids of us scattered around.
Wedding Insurance £60.
Wedding Dress: £850
This was the most American thing about my wedding- a gown from David’s Bridal! There are only 4 David’s Bridal’s in the UK and I just happen to live really close to one. I loved the first gown I tried on and bought it then and there. It was such a big shop and the colour just really popped out in the sea of white. I bought it when I was 135lbs and was about 150lbs at the wedding so I was PACKED into that shit.
Wedding Shoes: £210 (£70 + £70 + £70)
My shoes were from Irregular Choice. I got them for £70 off of Amazon and my beagle ate the first pair (((((: See my post history for guilty boi pics- I ordered a second pair. Then I wanted a pair of trainers to wear at night so I bought a beauuuuuutiful pair of pastel blue Nike Air Force 1s.
4 x Bridesmaids Dresses: £240
So the thing we got the most compliments on were our bridesmaid’s ASOS dresses! (What am I? Chopped liver?!) They were SO stunning and suited them so perfectly even though each of them were different shapes and sizes. My bridesmaids were happy and comfortable which was really important to me. We paid for the dresses as is traditional here. If you’re thinking about buying your bridesmaids dresses on the highstreet or online- I say go for it!
5 x Groomsmen Kilts: £650
The kilt hire for my husband and 4 groomsmen was pretty reasonable. They looked so handsome - my husband especially so of course- and it was my husband’s first time wearing one! We were both shocked by just how heavy it was! It’s not traditional to pay for the groomsmen’s kilts but we decided to pay because we thought it was fair as we were basically them asking to wear something specific and we were paying for the bridesmaids.
Tailor: £170
My neighbour is a seamstress (she actually works at David’s bridal lol) so she gave us a great friends and family rate to alter my dress AND my bridesmaids dresses for £170. My dress fitted perfectly around the bodice so it just needed taken up. Really sadly a few days before the wedding when I went to pick up my dress her husband told me she had been taken to hospital because of sepsis :( Her friend who is also a seamstress ended up doing the alterations while my neighbour gave her instructions over the phone FROM HER HOSPITAL BED. She REALLY went above and beyond and I’m so happy to report that she’s fully recovered now.
Hair: £90
This was just at my local hairdresser and included 2 trials. You'll see I hated both my previous trials from my post history so how it turned out on the day was a coin flip really. I just have one of those faces that doesn't seem to suit any hairstyle.
Officiant and marriage license: £225
Aww, our ceremony was just so beautiful. A friend from work has just become a wedding celebrant and she made it so personal for us. She sent us questionnaires to fill out separately which she turned into our vows. We had a traditional handfasting and we also did a Scottish quaich ceremony which is where both families share a drink whisky from a two handled pewter cup (we chose the House Greyjoy Talisker Select Reserve from the Game of Thrones collection which my mum and dad then polished off later lol)
I'm definitely forgetting a few things, but these were the major expenses!
​
THE GOOD
Weather - It rains here about 200 days of the year - including summer. Even getting married at the end of June doesn’t guarantee a nice day! We were so lucky because it was dry and sunny all day. It meant that we were able to get nice photos outside and that I wasn't dragging my dress around through puddles.
Atmosphere - Our vision for the day was just a pure good old fashioned knees-up. We wanted lots of dancing, lots of boozing and lots of tasty food. Everyone looked like they were having an absolute blast and I had the best day. It was just amazing having everyone we love all in one room- our friends, family all laughing and dancing together. Words can’t describe the absolute joy I felt.
Guestbook - This was such a huge hit and my husband’s best man has borrowed the idea for his wedding on Saturday! I bought a £1.99 guest book from Aldi (yass all about that special buys aisle), a glue stick an instax camera and some film- everyone took selfies, stuck them in the book and wrote messages. I get a bit weepy looking at the photos because they have such a nostalgic retro feel already and the wedding wasn't that long ago! I can imagine myself showing these to my wee ones in the future.
THE NOT SO GOOD
The heat- So as I said, we got married in a building that was built in the late 18th century in a country that is notoriously cold and rainy. Air con just does not exist here. It’s been ones of the hottest summers on record in the UK and by 8pm the place was an absolute sauna. I was sweating - I could literally feel the sweat running down my legs and OH MY GOD- I went to the toilet (myself thankfully) and when I lifted up my dress JESUS CHRIST THE SMELL. It smelled like the inside of a tent at a festival. Luckily I had made those wee pinterest bathroom baskets and was able to spray some deodorant up my dress hahahahaha. Still looked classy on the outside though… Some guests escaped for a bit to the beer garden for some fresh air and so did my husband and I.By 7pm the room was so hot that a ceilidh was out of the question. Ceilidh’s are so strenuous and can get you sweaty in the most air conditioned of rooms. Our guests didn’t seem to mind much!
The cake- We were drunk and forgot to eat our cake :( We spent AGES picking out the 4 flavours (carrot cake, malibu and coconut, malteaser and coffee) Everyone I spoke to said it was delicious- we really missed out. I’m gutted!
Overall, I’m glad to say the best party I’ve ever been to was my own wedding and I couldn’t have hoped to have a more fun or special day.
Thanks for reading <3

I've been looking for a place to share this story for years and I think this might be a good place.
Back in 2005 I was a single working mom of 2 toddlers. I had my own appartment and belongings and even though we didn't have much money we had what we needed. I was 21 years old, my bills were up to date, I had money set aside in college funds for the kids and we always had a hot meal on the table.
Around this time I my ex wife on line. She immediately wanted to get serious and bena family with me and we made arrangements to start visiting. We first met on neutral grounds a few hours from each of our homes and then she came to visit me. This is when it started. She spent a week with me and the kids and she seemed so happy but at the same time kept looking sad. I would ask her what was up and she wouldn't tell me. Finally when she was leaving she broke down. She said how much she loved me and the kids and wanted to be a family but she was just so saddened by his we were living. I asked what she meant by this and she said she didn't want to offend me but after seeing how I and my family live she realized what poverty really is and that she wanted desperately to show me how real life could be.
Now, my family has never had a lot of money and my father struggled to find work due to not having an education and being hearing impaired so we didn't have much. But we weren't poor by any means. We didn't have a vehicle but my parents had a house. They did their best to make sure we ate and had new clothes. We just didn't have the best of things and weren't able to do things travel or eat out.
I was the first in my family to graduate highschool, to get a job and to be accepted into university. I had my own appartment and was doing my best to raise my kids alone and so I was shocked by this statement.
Not long after I went to visit her and her parents and was shocked to see that they lived in, what I considered anyway, a mansion. They had statues, marble tables in the entrance way, a chandelier, China cabinets filled with sparkling crystal, a pool and a massive back yard and more. They treated me like their own daughter and made me and my children feel so loved. They took us to visit the rest of the family and they all seemed to be living luxurious lives but none of them seemed entitled or snobby. They all seemed to be genuinely nice and loving people and I took them to be one of the nicest families I could have ever been lucky enough to meet. I felt like we didn't belong but they made us feel like we did.
I heard all the stories about what the various relatives did for a living and the educations they had and all their exciting adventures and I started to believe that these people were the "right kind" of people. I felt that they had become what they were because of how wonderful and hard working they were and because of all the support and love they got from their siblings. My ex also stated picking at my parents and my upbringing. She had me convinced that my family was poorly raised going back generations, that my parents weren't raised right and therefore couldn't have raised me right which meant I couldn't raise my kids right without her help.
She had me convinced that my family was lazy and hateful, that they resented me for being better than them and that they were a negative influence on my kids and that I needed to do the right thing and move in with her so that she and her parents could help guide me and give us the life we deserve.
Initially I agreed to move in but only in a few months time so that I could adequately prepare (rent a truck, find a storage unit for my stuff, get a job in my new town, etc) then one day, they made their move.
I got a call from my ex, telling me my father had just called their house and had told her father not to let me move in with them or to date their daughter because I was a slut, a drug addict, a liar and theif and that I had had my kids taken from me because I was neglecting and sleeping with every man I met. I'm a lesbian and have been out since before my youngest was born and they have the same father. I don't do drugs and only had my kids placed for 30 days after losing my appartment and being temporarily homeless. That had happened when my youngest was under a year old and he was 3 at this point.
In the background her dad yelling and saying things "like what kind of father talks about his daughter this way? How do you not love her? I love her!" And her mom was calling his name, begging him to calm down. She told me my dad was threatening to call the police and take my kids away and that I had to leave right away for our safely. She told me to pack my bags and that she would be here the next day to pick us up. I had had a fight with my dad before about moving away and I believed her without a doubt and grieved over the fact that my father hated me and would be outnof my life. I learned years later that I was all a lie they had made up. He never called them and I didn't speak to my father for 2 years.
I packed our clothes, my documents, thenkids toys and my pictures and we loaded them all into her car the next day and I moved in with her family.
Immediately things started going to shit. I was now in a strange town with people I barely knew with no job and no money except for my child tax benefits thati hot each month for the kids. We lived a nice life and did things as a family but little by little they took over my life and I started to see the cracks in their own perfect lives.
First it was the money. We opened a joint account and all my money would be transferred to it. She also had access to my banking info since she would be handing the finances. She said it was because my family had never had any money therefore I had no experience in managing and she needed to teach me. Eventually I was working and just giving her all my money and was getting an allowance to use. She started checking my transactions to make sure I wasn't mismanaging my allowance. When I told her I felt like a child and wanted a say in the finances, she humoured me and would tell me I had PERMISSION to pay a certain bill on a certain date. She would give me the exact amount, tell me to pay it then have me send her the confirmation, and this was supposed to be her way of giving me responsibility.
Then it was the kids. They didn't feel I could raise them the right way and I'll never forget the day sue told me she didn't want "monkey children" running around their house. We are first nations people, she and her family are caucasian and french. This was extremely hurtful to me but again she went on about the residential school and the alcoholism among our people and convinced me that our kind didn't know how to raise normal kids.
Her and her parents took over raising my kids. They decided what they wore, what they ate, what activities or hobbies they could have, how to discipline them and overall how to raise them. I had no say. The day I bought a bottle of pop and my oldest asked me "did you ask mom if you could buy that?" I realized I had to get out, but that's another story.
Once we had been together for 2 years we got engaged and then she told me her family's secrets and revealed to me that the entire family was putting up a facade for the public and nothing was what it was.
Her parents had been millionaires. They had an accounting practice that was very successful. Almost the fancy things in their house had been bought during that time and much of it had been imported or custom ordered. They built a mansion from the ground up, something even more elaborate than the house they currently had. She showed me the pictures and I was floored.
Unfortunately her dad was running some kind of tax evasion scam and had been under investigation for some time before his home and office were seized and he was charged with fraud and tax evasion to the tune of like $24 million or something like that. This is all public record and news articles can be found online.
They had been rendered broke and homeless and the house they were currently living in had been bought with money borrowed from her aunt and uncle. Her father had been jobless ever since and her mother was the only one bringing in income bit that her father was using his brilliant accounting to make the money go far so that they could live this lavish lifestyle.
The aunt and uncle who lend them the money were currently fighting with them under the radar to get their money back ot at least some payments.
Meanwhile she tells me that there are relatives I will never meet, the reason being that her maternal grandfather molested all the kids and a lot of the grandkids and grandma being religious chose to forgive and forget. Some of the family couldn't accept this and were disowned from the family. Not even a picture exists of then anymore according her.
I was livid at this because my kids had been around this dirty old man, had sat on his lap, had been alone with him. And I was supposed to act like it was nothing serious.
Eventually other things started coming out, her relatives were all fighting, they were all in serious debt in order to fund their lifestyles and were all under constant stress. Marriages were falling apart, people cheating, one uncle was being accused of being a pedophile simply because he was "odd" All the small children were spoiled rotten brats and would insult and abuse my kids openly and people would laugh.
The family knew I was a picker eater and that y French wasn't very good. When they woke have family parties they would drink a few bottles of wine then call me over to try some nasty good or to say a phrase in french. Then they would laugh and mock me when I gagged on the food or butchered the pronunciation. I became a source of entertainment and baby sitter to my own kids.
In public I was related like one if her children instead of her partner. She would talk for me when I went to buy a bus pass or renew my license, would tell me what I could order from the menu at restaurants and if I wanted to listen to music in the car I had to follow the same rules as the kids: I got to pick one album and only 4 songs and she would count then put as they played then put her album back on. It was humiliating.
Then I found out that my ex's mom had bought a fraudulent diploma from a fake online school in order to get her job. She was even on the news for it and was at risk of losing her job.
At this point I had realized what I had gotten myself into. They needed money, their daughter was grown and couldn't give them grandkids and they were at risk of losing their home and facing prison time. They took what little income I had to keep up appearances, told people was unable to raise my kids on my own for whatever reason and that I came from poverty and lived in dirt. (I found that last part out by accident while talking to her aunt when I was talking about my plans for the future and she started crying telling me how sad it was how we lived and how happy she is to see us in our feet. I asked what she meant and got the story she and the family had been told.) They used the fact that they had kids to raise to talk their aunt and uncle out of eviction them from the house. They were using me to keep up their lifestyle and my role was to shut up, turn up smiling at family events, clean the house and babysit. I became depressed and wanted to go home.
Then came the big scam that ended everything. My ex was called up to talk to her parents and I wad told to stay in the bedroom and watch tv. Mayne 2 hours later she comes down and tells me there has been a development and that she is letting me in on it but that I can never speak to family about it and we had to live in secrecy or risk being arrested by the Russian police. She told me her father had been contacted by a Russian prince who was being detained and needed to flee the country. Only the government would seize all his assets if they knew about them so he needed help. He wanted my father on law to open an account and give him all the account details. He would then need a few thousand dollars to bribe some officials tonlet him transfer it. He would then deposit the money into this new account, send new majority of it back to himself and my father knew would keep the difference to the tune of $4 million. I told her immediately that this was a scam and not to send them any money. She threw a fit and cried about not trusting her father's judgment and intelligence after all they had donemfor me. She said he had been in touch with the man's lawyer who had verified everything and they had already come up with the bribe money.
She and her parents wholeheartedly believed they had money coming. They wrote up a budget that included a living allowance for us of $2000 per month, a full time nanny for the kids, private school tuition for them and personal body guards for everyone. My ex was dragging me to look at high priced appartments in the city that I knew we could never afford and to look at houses to potentially buy. We were shopping from catalogues for new furniture and looking to buy new cars. They said once the first million came into the account they would be set and their money would be in shortly after that. I never did find out what they meant about the first million.
Then they were told they needed to pay a processing fee to the bank because the money was in a giant vault and they had to pay rent on it which was overdue. Then the London bombing happened and they claimed the bank where the money was held was destroyed alone with the money. But don't worry, it was insured and he could get his money as soon as he paid the deductible on the insurance.
After this was all said and done, my ex's mom decided to go to her attorney and was shocked to discover it was all a scam. They were out thousands of dollars and had promised hundreds of thousands in return to those who lent it.
Even after all this I stayed because I was know under employed and had no real contact with my family so I felt stuck. I also didn't fully realize the extent of their financial dependency on me and the kids. We eventually married and that was also terrible. My ex said she was worried that if I died my family would take my kids and undo all that they have done to raise them right and that we need to get married and leave the kids to her in my will. We decided on going to a justice of the peace with the kids and both sets of parents and then have dinner at a restaurant later with all our friends.
Well, she and her parents planned our wedding and would occasionally ask my opinion on something only to disregard it. They decided on a location because we needed a venue and we needed ALL our friends and family present. They got a preacher to marry us, paid for catering, hired a DJ, bought all the decorations and even sent us in a limo as a last minute surprise.
The wedding was not meant to be and I think God did everything he could to tell me. First, it was an outdoor ceremony and it rained so we had to gave the ceremony in the reception hall.
A bunch of jer relatives who had RSVP'd didn't show up because they didn't agree with gay marriage and one entire family failed to shoe up because their daughter was being married 2 months later and they felt we only got engaged to take away the attention from her.
When we walked down the aisle, my daughter got nervous and forgot to drop her flower pedals and cried after the ceremony for another chance to drop them.
Next, the MC and preacher were both trying to talk over eachother and introduce us and the preacher told him to stop talking.
Then the caterer dropped an entire tray of food in the lobby where they set us the buffet. Someone ate the vegetarian meal we ordered for the one vegetarian aunt. The cake was stale and flavorless.
While the reception was going on I noticed there were flowers everywhere when there weren't supposed to be any. (The only choice I gor to make was the flavor of the cake whether we had balloons or flowers. I picked balloons) i asked and found out another couple that was getting married that weekend had broken up and called off the wedding and the owner of the establishment had asked if we wanted them so we now had flowers from a failed relationship all over our reception hall.
Then the DJ was very late and people were bringing out iPods and one guy wanted to pull his truck up and blast his stereo. He finally showed up and set up, our mc announced our first dance and he started playing believe by Cher instead of our song.
My grandmother, who I loved more than anything got drunk and peed on the bathroom floor and was sitting in her pissy pants laughing to herself.
There were 2 other wedding going on the same building and people were photographing the other couple and other wedding guests thinking they were with us so we have pictures of strangers in our wedding album.
Our photographer deleted all the photos by accident at the end of the night so the only photos we had were the ones take by the guests.
At the end of the night we got 2 more surprises. First, we had used her parents wedding rings and they revealed they were divorcing. At the end of our wedding. We were married with the rings of a failed marriage. And finally the preacher who married us conned her parents out of $100 by saying we hadn't paid all our bill and she couldn't preform the ceremony unless she got paid and they wanted their $100 back from us.
After coming back from the honeymoon everything was ok for a bit until the night we came home and found the house in darkness. They house had been foreclosed on and we were wall homeless. The money they spent on our wedding was their mortgage money and since they hadn't paid back their relatives for the initial loan nobody innthe family would help them.
By now I had mended my relationship with my family and they helped us get back on our feet but by now I was tired of living under the control of my wife and her parents and I was tired of my kids seeing me as a sibling and I finally made the decision to leave and move back home. I came back with exactly what I left with: our clothes, my documents, the kids toys and my pictures. I had nothing and I took close to 5 years to rebuild my life. She left me with nothing but a ton of debt from all the credit cards and loans she .ade me take. I even lost my children's college funds because she convinced me to withdraw it in order to invest it elsewhere.
Her father eventually ended uo serving time in prison, she and her mom disowned their family and her father. My ex filed for bankruptcy and started dating a man with money. Whe now has a kid and is living a decent life and still occasionally asks me to pay for some old shared debt we still have so she can get a loan or rent an appartment.
Looking back I feel stupid, I wasted 5 years of my life being controlled and missing my family and had to rebuild my parental bond with my own kids. I don't trust anybody anymore, I'm afraid of having too much money and chose to live modestly and I refuse to date because I don't feel like I have anything to offer. I've been home for almost 10 years now and my kids atw grown but I still can't trust anybody but my kids have been incredible. I love them more than life itself and I pray they think of this whole experience of they ate ever faced with a scammer or dishonest person.

Our wedding was almost a month ago, and it’s taken me this long to actually start thinking about the day in real terms. As someone with an anxious brain, the day was everything I dreamed about but it’s A LOT to think about and process afterwards, so I thought writing a breakdown of everything we did would help me break everything down in my head.
We started with roughly £15,000 as a budget, which we’ve funded ourselves entirely, except for my parents gifting us £1,000 towards my wedding dress. We were prepared to spend on the important things (food and drink, photography, entertainment) and we ended up spending close to £17k in the end – here’s a breakdown of our costs from highest to lowest!
I’ve included photos along the way, some are guest pictures and some are from the previews we’ve had from our photographers.
Summary
Date: Sunday, 6th October
Guests invited: 67 day guests, 46 evening guests
Guests on the day: 66 day guests (1 person’s travel plans were delayed and only made it to the evening reception), 40 evening guests (1 couple we didn’t hear from at all, 2 relatives who were sick, 2 plus ones who had last minute childcare duties - less mad about these as we didn’t have fixed food numbers)
Food and Drinks - £4,640.40
By far our biggest spend was food and drink. Our venue provided the catering and this included canapés, Prosecco and beer for our cocktail hour, a three course meal with wine, and 90 wood-fired pizzas for the evening. It’s normal in the UK to have a cash bar so guests bought their own drinks for the evening reception.
Our guests RAVED about the food which was a charcuterie board to start, rotisserie chicken with roasted vegetables and potatoes and a chocolate brownie. The veggie/vegan option was butternut squash soup and tarka dhal with cauliflower fritters. So many people told me it was the best wedding food they’ve ever had so that made the spend worthwhile.
Venue Costs - £3,783.60
This was our second biggest cost and included exclusive hire of our venue, Healey Barn, staffing, wedding co-ordinator, all tableware and furniture, fire pits and an additional fee for holding a civil ceremony at the venue.
This was the only venue we viewed in person and immediately fell in love, but in hindsight, it was a LOT of money. We chose a Sunday date which was considerably less expensive than Friday or Saturday, but we did think this affected how late some people stayed at the reception.
Pictures: The dining room, the barn
Bridal Wear and Alterations - £1,830.00
My parents gifted us £1,000 towards the costs of my dress, which we were really grateful for because there was a lot of sticker shock when it came to the costs for bridal wear!
My dress was Keeva by Catherine Deane, which I got a 10% discount on during a trunk show and cost £1,080.
My chapel-length veil cost £200, and I’m sure I could have got it cheaper but I tried it on with my dress and it looked too magical not to buy (one of my less rational decisions) and I was worried that an online dupe wouldn’t be as good of a colour match to the tulle on my dress.
Alterations cost me £500, which I was initially horrified by - I lost a little bit of weight between buying my dress but I didn’t realise the alterations would end up so drastic. This included taking the bodice in, shortening the straps, adding darts on the bust, taking up the hem (I’m only 5”2) and adding a wrist strap. Remember to budget for this if you’re buying a dress that doesn’t fit quite right!
My shoes were £50 from Dune London and were pink platform sandals, but I changed into a pair of white Converse as soon as the party got going.
Earrings were gifted by my husband the morning of and I wore my mom’s necklace which is my nana’s diamond from her engagement ring.
Pictures: Dress 1, Dress 2, accessories
Photography - £1,700.00
Our first wedding photographer fell through as they moved to California a year after we booked them (!) but it was a blessing in disguise as we scored a new photographer, which were a married couple who we got more coverage with for slightly cheaper. They split up in the morning and got shots of both me and the groom getting ready, and then we got full coverage until just after the first dance. They were both amazing and fitted into the day perfectly.
Flowers and decor hire - £1,400.00
This was something I went over budget on, but with absolutely no regrets - our original budget was £1,000. Our flowers were AMAZING and the key focal point of our decor and I always wanted a big, wild bouquet.
This included my bridal bouquet, 5 bridesmaid bouquets, 7 buttonholes and 2 corsages, two big arrangements for the fireplace and top table, bouquets for the chairs and 7 centre pieces which were geometric terrariums with flowers and succulents and grey table runners. Our florist and venue did all of our set up too so we didn’t have to worry about that day-of.
Pictures: Centrepieces, my bouquet
Wedding Party Attire - £974.00
I did mismatched bridesmaids in varying shades of pink, with my maid of honour (my sister) in a deep red. I put £50 towards each bridesmaid’s dress and only one of them ended up spending more than that, and bought everyone a hair vine (£70) They bought their own shoes (I had no shoe requirements) so the total spend here was £320.
Since we were paying for bridesmaid’s hair and makeup, we put £150 towards each groomsmen’s outfit and most of them got a full three-piece suit for that price from high street shops. We also bought them each a tie, pocket square and cufflinks, so total spend on the groomsmen was £654.
Pictures: Bridesmaids, groomsmen
Wedding entertainment - £925.00
Having a good DJ was non-negotiable for us as music was one of the most important aspects of the day for me. We hired a local company from 7:30pm - 1:00am for £425, and they absolutely killed it. They kept the dance floor going all night with alternative indie pop, 80s and soul - the biggest song of the night was Tribute by Tenacious D!
My husband isn’t big into dancing, so when we had a little slack in the budget we decided to hire two video game pods for £500. The Nintendo GameCube went down a storm with a queue for MarioKart for most of the night, and it kept the kiddos happy too. Definitely recommend this if it’s right for your crowd.
Pictures: Evening reception
Registrar and Fees - £500.00
A registrar from our local council came out to do our civil ceremony, which was £460 plus a £40 booking fee. We were also meant to pay £35 each to ‘give notice’ to get married at our local council office, but they forgot to charge us - so £70 saved there!
Hair and Make-up - £498.00
I paid for all of my bridal party to have full hair and make-up because I wanted everyone to feel like their best versions of their selves and none of us are confident doing hair or makeup and it was SO worth it. We all felt fantastic and our haimake-up held up all day and night.
Accommodation - £370.00
We booked a cottage local to the venue for the bridal party to get ready in, and another apartment for my husband and his Best Man to get ready in. My bridal party contributed to the cost of their one night stay so this brought it down.
Wedding Rings - £332.00
We went to the jeweller where my husband bought my engagement ring to see what style of rings we wanted, and then went home and found dupes online for a fraction of the cost. My wedding band is this one from Etsy for £211 and my husband got a simple 8 carat gold band for £121.
Groom Suit - £289.00
My husband bought his suit from a local suit shop for £169, a pair of Ted Baker shoes from ASOS for £80 and spent £40 on cufflinks and a Liberty London pattered tie and pocket-square from Etsy. This was something that came in majorly under budget so we moved the budget elsewhere.
Cake and dessert table - £237.83
One of my bridesmaid’s sisters made us our wedding cake for an absolute steal of £70 and it turned out even better than our inspiration picture. It had three tiers iced together - lemon and elderflower, white chocolate and raspberry and vanilla. We have an entire cake left over in our freezer!
In addition to cake, we bought 70 donuts, cupcakes, sweets and made S’more packs to have outside by the fire pits. We majorly overbought on donuts and cupcakes but all of the sweets were eaten. Something we didn’t budget for initially was cake stands, our donut wall and sweet jars which did add up to about £50 we didn’t initially factor in.
Pictures: Cake
Gifts for Wedding Party - £220.00
I spent £120 on getting ready robes and enamel pins for each bridesmaid, as well as sewing them a make-up bag each, and we bought our parents a £50 restaurant voucher each to say thank you for their support.
Stationery - £189.71
I’m a designer by trade, so I was luckily able to DIY a lot of the stationery for our day. We paid for professional printing for our save the dates and invitations, but I designed and printed all of the day-of stationery (order of the day, place cards, signs etc) at home with a £30 inkjet printer
Wedding Favours - £107.95
We bought charity pins from two charities close to our heart (Mind and Alzheimers Society) and put these on DIY’d backing cards for each guest.
Wedding decor - £100.00
As the florals were the main aspects of wedding decor for us and they provided centrepieces, we didn’t spend a lot in this category - this covered miscellaneous signage, LED candles, crates and blankets for the outdoors.
Picture: Welcome sign
Transportation - £95.00
After getting quotes for ‘traditional’ wedding transportation (like a fancy classic car), we immediately threw that in the fuck-it bucket because of the extreme price - we were getting quotes for £100 for a 10 minute journey. We instead booked an ‘executive’ taxi service to get me, my parents and my bridal party to the venue and to get us home that night which cost £95 for all 3 journeys.
Wedding Insurance - £80.00
Luckily we didn’t need to use this, but better be safe than sorry!
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Phew, I think that’s everything! I just thought I’d share as it’s rare to see UK breakdowns on this sub, and costs are so different between the UK and the US.

During planning I found recaps quite useful, so here’s mine! I’m going to apologise right now for the fact that this is very long, but hopefully it’ll be useful to someone!
First - Some guest photos!

Background

My husband (34M) and I (25F) have been together for 4.5 years, engaged for 2. I’m English and he’s Scottish, so for the first ~15 months we were long distance. When I graduated I moved from London to Glasgow to be with him, and we got engaged about a year later. We live roughly an hour from our wedding venue in the adjacent city. My husband’s family mostly live in the same area as us - the furthest any of them had to travel was about 2 hours - whereas my family and friends live throughout England and Wales - some of them travelled upwards of 8 hours to join us, and we were so grateful! I had always imagined a ‘five people on the beach’ kind of wedding, but my husband has a huge immediate family and could not imagine getting married without them. We compromised on a small, relaxed wedding of ~50 people.
Our invite breakdown was: * 67 invited * 49 yes (~75%) * 18 no
100% of the people who RSVP'd 'yes' showed up, and we didn't have any unannounced guests. Definitely an advantage of a smaller guest list!
Guest comfort and enjoyment were a top priority for us; we wanted to make sure no-one was left standing around waiting for us, and that they were well fed and entertained. This clearly came through because we got a lot of compliments on touches such as the photobooth, extra evening food options, and bathroom boxes which improved our guests’ experience!

Venue

As soon as we had established that we would be getting married in Scotland, we began researching venues. I didn’t want a hotel wedding as I find that at the ones I have attended they have often shuffled guests between two rooms repeatedly (which I am personally not fond of), therefore we began looking into other options. I fell in love with several historic castles, but not so much with their price tags - typically £5k in venue fees with no kitchen access so catering needs to be in vans - or locations - often in the middle of nowhere which makes catering awkward and greatly limits guest’s accommodation options. Eventually I stumbled across Edinburgh Zoo on a list of unusual wedding venues, and joked to my fiancé about it who promptly replied, ‘Why not?’ A quick google revealed that weddings took place in the Mansion House and I instantly fell in love - here was (almost) the castle I had dreamed of, but with a more convenient location, more reasonable packages, and on site catering! We set up an appointment to tour the venue ASAP, and were delighted to discover that our guests would have access to the zoo between the ceremony and wedding breakfast - we signed the contract that day!
Worth noting here that we were originally aiming for a date at the beginning of August, but when we went to check hotel prices to get an idea of how expensive it would be for our guests, we were greeted with ~£300 price tags for a Sunday night. Edinburgh hosts a huge event called Edinburgh Fringe for the entirety of August, and moving our date forward a few weeks dropped those prices to less than £100 per night.
Check your date doesn’t coincide with any large events in the area you are getting married in before you book!

Budget

My parents covered half of our estimated venue cost, my husband’s parents gave us £1000, and my grandfather gave us £2000.
We were extremely fortunate that our families gave us this money with no strings attached, and were all relaxed and undemanding for the majority of the planning process. We could have paid for the whole wedding ourselves in the end, but we would have had to postpone our honeymoon until the following year, so we were still extremely grateful for their contributions.
Venue: £4000 This included exclusive use of the Mansion House and Gardens from 8am - 1am, a package for 50 people of post ceremony drinks, wine with dinner, prosecco for toasting, a 3 course dinner, tea and coffee, and an evening buffet of bacon rolls, plus a menu tasting, all linens (chair covers and ties for both ceremony and wedding breakfast, and tablecloths), crockery and cutlery, our DJ, access for all our guests to the zoo between the ceremony and wedding breakfast, and a dedicated wedding coordinatoday of coordinator.
Venue Additions: £485.60 * £80 for two children to attend (these were not included in our package numbers). * £40 for two vendor meals. * £55.60 - £6.95pp for 8 evening-only guests. * £5 corkage for one bottle of non-alcoholic wine we provided. * £15 for clip on tails to put in the photobooth - worth it! * £40 for engraved bride/groom penguin crystal glasses we got to keep. * £150 for an evening mac’n’cheese buffet. * £100 for a doughnut wall - I’m not a huge doughnut person, but my husband and MoH got so excited about this that we had to go for it!
Wedding Photography: £395 My SIL recommended a photographer she loves who is ridiculously reasonable. For this price he was present from 9am until about 8pm, and provides a minimum of 200 fully edited photos. We were amazed by the quality of his work and actually booked him at the same time as our venue to ensure his availability. Most importantly, we both felt totally at ease with him which was pretty amazing since we’re both generally awkward potatoes where photos are concerned. We’re already incredibly pleased with our sneak peeks and can’t wait to see more!
Videographer: Free! We decided early on in the planning process that video wasn’t something which was important to us, however the more ‘the one thing I regret is not having a videographer’ posts I saw, the more I dithered on this point. In the end I lucked out and found someone on GumTree who was just starting their own videography business and needed a few couples to build up their portfolio. They were a husband and wife team who wound up costing us £40 in vendor meals, and have told us they will give us a 6-10 minute highlight video, a 20-30 minute documentary style video, and raw footage of our ceremony and speeches. We’re weren’t expecting them to be anything amazing since they’re just starting out, but figured that even the raw footage would be a bonus, however we just go through our teaser and it’s utterly incredible - we couldn’t be more pleased.
Celebrant and Civil Marriage Fees: £485. We booked through the Edinburgh Registrars Office and paid £360 for a Sunday ceremony, plus £60 to lodge our marriage notice forms, £55 in ‘civil marriage fees’, and £10 for a copy of our marriage certificate. Our registrar wasn’t great - several people said she seemed a little nervous, and she handed me our handfasting cord instead of looping it twice around our wrists like we had asked. Edinburgh Registrar’s Office offered a ‘week before meeting’ for £50 which we honestly didn’t have time to take them up on by the time they offered it to us - perhaps this would have prevented any issues, perhaps not. I guess that’s the chance you take with a randomly assigned registrar.
Florist: £406 We didn’t want a huge amount of flowers, so I searched high and low for a florist who didn’t have a £700+ minimum for weekend weddings. This covered my bouquet, 2 bridesmaids wrist corsages on pearl bracelets, 1 MoB lapel corsage, 6 boutonnieres (groom, best man, 2 groomsmen, and both fathers), a smaller version of my bouquet for our flower girl, and a greenery garland for our top table. Honestly, if I had realised they were an option before we booked our florist, I would probably have gone with sola or silk flowers for roughly the same price (if not less), however I was pleased with our florist and what she produced, and I have some of my flowers in a press in an attempt to preserve them! An unexpected bonus was that my bouquet smelt amazing for the whole day! Flowers
Hair and Makeup: £214 This included my trial (£95), day of makeup (£55), day of hair (£50), fake lashes (£10), and a travel fee (£4). My bridesmaids and MOB each paid £90 to have their hair and makeup done too. Part of what I loved about our HMUA was that she didn’t require brides to have a trial, however in the end I decided it was for the best since I have reacted to cosmetics in the past.
DJ: Included in our venue package He did a good job of reading our crowd of mostly non-dancers and played music that got people out of their seats. He also did the shoe game/Mr and Mrs for us despite never having done it before, and it was a hit!
Photobooth: £349 For this price we got an ‘open air’ photobooth for 4 hours, an attendant, 2 copies of every strip of photos (1 for our guestbook, and 1 for our guests to take home), and an online gallery of all the photos. This was without a doubt some of the best money we spent - the photos are amazing and it was so lovely to get to see all our guests having fun the day after when we got the digital gallery through! A few of our favourites
Invitations: £15 We did all online Save the Dates and Invitations, but printed 10 of each through Zazzle in a 60% off sale for a few older relatives who we knew wouldn’t understand the online RSVP through our website. The StDs and invites cost us £10, and then ~£5 in stamps.
Other Paper Items: £45 We didn’t do menus or programs, but we did print ‘Photo Scavenger Hunt’ cards to encourage our friends and family to send us guest photos of themselves, our venue, and us! I also bought £30 worth of stamps for our thank you cards, and we have £45 budgeted to print photo thank yous.
Dress: £830 I paid £500 for my dress from Wed2B (who I thoroughly recommend), as well as £70 for an underskirt, and £55 for a diamante belt. My alterations were £205. This covered hemming my dress (I’m 5’3” so there was a lot to hem off), removing the train, taking in the bust, adding cups, and making and adding off-the-shoulder sleeves. The seamstress also took in the waist and raised the hem of my underskirt. Note: jump around in your alterations! My dress fit fantastically but the waist of my underskirt was too big even after being taken in, and while it was fine to walk around in, I kept having to hoist it up when dancing later in the evening!
Accessories: £325 I paid £110 for hair accessories for my bridesmaids and myself (Most of this was store credit which needed to be spent that day), £65 on a pearl necklace, bracelet, and earrings (none of which I wound up wearing, oops!), and £25 on underwear which I also wound up not wearing because it was visible under my dress, but was outside its return window. My veil was my ‘something borrowed’. My shoes were metallic blue Converse for £40, and my bridesmaids wore metallic/glittery rose gold Converse which came to £85 for both pairs.
Groom/Groomsmen Attire: £370 We hired Highland Sky kilts with Charcoal Tweed jackets for the Groom, Best man, 2 Groomsmen and FOG. These were £95 each but they were running a 5 for the price of 4 offer.
Flowergirl Attire: £80 We spent £60 on a dress from JJsHouse which MOG altered as they come up very long, and £20 on blue sparkly trainers.
Thank you Gifts: £540 * Bridesmaids: £240 My bridesmaids insisted on paying for their own dresses and haimake up which we had budgeted to cover. We used the money we would have spent on their dresses to get them gifts we knew they would use and love for years to come, plus a few wedding touches! My MOH got Disney Vans and a Cath Kidston Disney bag. My sister got a Clogau gold necklace and a Ted Baker Makeup Bag. They both received personalised getting ready robes, a tumbler with a straw (on the advice of my makeup artist), and a clip on zoo animal tail. * Groomsmen: £60 As we paid for all the groomsmen’s attire we didn’t go quite so over-the-top with their thank you gifts. We got his Best Man, one Groomsman, and his BIL engraved glass tankards from his stag in Lisbon - the BM/GM ones said ‘Their name, role, date’ subtly on the back, and BIL’s said ‘his name, stag stag stag’ since he had contributed towards my husband’s portion of the trip. His other Groomsman couldn’t attend the stag so we got him a monogrammed hip flask. * Parents: £200 MOB received a pair of earrings, a getting ready robe, and a Portmeirion cake stand (this was specifically because she helped me make our cheesecakes in the days before the wedding), FOB received a monogrammed wallet, MOG received Afternoon Tea for Two at a local tearoom, and FOG received an engraved watch. * Other: £40 Our cake and favours were made at a steep discount by a friend who owns a bakery, we got her a Portmeirion cake stand as well. We also got our flowergirl a small silver daisy necklace.
Wedding Rings: £440 Mine was £270 from a nationwide jewellery chain, and his was £120 custom made on Etsy. We also paid £50 to have my engagement ring resized as it was too large. The only ring photo we have so far.
Day of gifts to each other: £200 I got him a book and a FitBit Blaze since he’s been dying for a new smart watch, and he got me a book of letters to the bride filled out by my friends and family, a ‘one line a day 5 year memory book’ for each of us, and a gorgeous key pendant from Pandora. My gift
Cake and Favours: £80 A friend of my husband’s runs a bakery and offered to make our cake at an extremely reduced rate; the week before the wedding she told us that she was actually giving us the cake as a wedding gift. Our favours were cupcakes shaped like highland cows, and she charged us £1.50 per cupcake including individual boxes. These went down an absolute storm and by the end of the evening there were none left! Cake and Favours

THE REST:

This post is already insanely long, so I'll try and quickly break down the remainder of the costs. If you'd like specifics on any of them, let me know! * Cheesecakes: My mum and I made these ourselves, she bought the ingredients and I’d estimate we spent £30-40 on them. We also bought 70 ramekins for £60 to make them in as we were concerned about the structural integrity if they were sitting out all night, but we’re hoping to sell these as a job lot for some of what we paid. * Miscellaneous decor: £450 Terrariums, succulents, and tea lights for centrepieces, guestbook, advice cards and box, several signs, crates of straws, glow sticks and MandMs for the reception, a card box, and several decals. * Log slice for the cake stand: gifted by a family friend who is a tree surgeon. We sanded and waxed this, then my mum engraved it. * Hotel rooms for night before/of: £285 * Stag Do spending money: £100. The groomsmen paid for my husband’s hotel, flights, and food for the 3 days they spent in Lisbon. This covered his spending money and the cost of his lunch in Dublin on the way back when they had run out of money! * Last minute purchases: The week of the wedding we bought a replacement ring-bound guest book to accommodate our photobooth pictures (which we didn’t wind up needing), some miscellaneous items to entertain the kids in attendance, a bubble machine for our bubble receiving line (I got paranoid that just little bubble wands wouldn’t produce the amount we wanted), a vase for my bouquet on the top table, thigh bands for me to keep my phone and inhaler in, a lipstick, a handfasting cord, and a couple of other assorted items. I would estimate that we spent maybe £100 on last minute items, but honestly by this point I had mostly given up on keeping track.

TOTAL COST: ~£10,200.

I am probably forgetting minor things, but that should be pretty close.
Now, onto my thoughts and some other details…

• Bridal party walked to: Concerning Hobbits
• My dad and I walked to: the instrumental introduction to Lynyrd Skynyrd - Freebird
• Our ‘signing the register’ song: You’ll Never Walk Alone
• Recessional: Walking on Sunshine
• First Dance: Kodaline - The One
• Cake flavours: Carrot cake, red velvet, lemon.
• Cheesecake flavours: Tiramisu, Raspberry and White Chocolate, Mango, and Millionaire’s (Vanilla, Caramel, and Chocolate layers).

TAKEAWAYS:

• It's been said before, but it's likely something WILL go wrong - even before the day! - and it will be okay. 2 weeks before our wedding I realised we had never spoken to our DJ because he came as part of our wedding package, and when I emailed him he took 6 days to respond to me. To say I was a little panicked in case he, for some reason, didn’t have a record of our booking would be an understatement. 10 days out I had to call our venue to ask them to add an additional child guest (despite having passed the 3 week final numbers confirmation) because a family member was diagnosed with terminal cancer and could no longer babysit her. And 9 days out my MOH tried on her dress and found that the shoulder strap was WAY too short. We had to go to the store, beg them for extra material, and then my mum added additional panels to her and the other bridesmaid’s sleeve so that they didn’t cut off blood supply to their arms. Luckily my mum is a fairly competent seamstress because I honestly don’t know what we would have done if she hadn’t been able to fix it herself!
• Not everything will go perfectly, but you’ll barely remember: Our registrar handed me our handfasting cord instead of looping it around our wrists, my bracelet nearly fell off when we ‘tied the knot’, we got married at a zoo with a penguin parade and the penguins decided they didn’t want to parade that day(!), the cheesecake labels didn’t go out so no-one knew what flavours they were, the best man disappeared for half the night because his wife was unwell, and probably a bunch of other little details. People must have noticed. No-one cared, and they quickly forgot! At the end of the night, several people told me it was the only wedding they’d ever been to where nothing went wrong!
• Do what you want to do, even if it isn’t traditional: Neither my husband or I wanted to do a first look, but we did want a quiet moment to spend with each other before the ceremony when we would be surrounded by people. Our photographer found a quiet corner of our venue and set us up either side of it so we could hold hands without seeing each other. This was a really emotional moment for us, and helped to ground us before the madness of the day kicked in.
• Sometimes taking a chance is worth it: I’m not going to advocate for finding vendors on Craigslist/gumtree/etc. because you just don’t know what quality you’re going to get from them. That being said, if there’s something you’d quite like but absolutely can not afford, and it’s not going to make or break your wedding if it’s not perfect (or is possibly crap), it can be worth taking the chance! We knew there was a chance that our videographers would be less than fantastic, but we figured - at the very least - raw footage of our ceremony and speeches was more than we would otherwise have. Our teaser came through and it’s honestly incredible, so much better than I would ever have dared to hope. I have no doubt our videographers will be charging a lot of money in a few months time - and they will absolutely be worth it - so we got amazingly lucky to find them when we did.
• Collecting guest photos: We had a hashtag! We loved it, everyone who saw it before the wedding loved it and made a point of commenting on it! Nobody used it. Instead we used WedUploader (https://weduploader.com) to collect our guests photos by sending them a link which then uploads their photos directly to a folder in your google drive account. It works fantastically on iPhone and PC - lets you upload at least 94 photos at once - but on android it requires you to upload each photo individually, which is a little annoying if you have loads!
• Bathroom boxes: Maybe a slightly weird one, but so many people came up to me throughout the day and thanked us for the bandaids/painkillers/indigestion meds/sewing kit/deodorant etc. that we put in our bathroom boxes! They were things that guests might not necessarily think/have space to bring, so they went down a storm and really helped our guests enjoy the day that little bit more!
• Find people who get it: I joined a wedding planning discord group who advertised looking for new members on this subreddit, and it was one of the best things I could have done through the planning process. Having a group of people who understood what a stress planning could be to share worries, stressful situations, wins, questions, and laughter with was an absolute lifesaver. To the women of WeddingIsland, thank you. I honestly don’t know how I would have made it through this process without you.

Because I know you're really here for the pictures: https://imgur.com/a/oj9w16Y
Some of you asked for a budget recap for my September 2019 wedding and honestly the end of the year got crazy busy. But it's a new year and work is slow, so I thought I'd give it a go! I wanted to share mine as I know London is typically so expensive and I felt like we did very well considering that. This is very long, so scroll down if you just want to see total costs at the bottom. Also I did this on my phone so apologies for weird formatting!
Wedding Details at a Glance: - Date: 14/9/19 - Location: ceremony, cocktail hour and reception at Charlton House in Greenwich - Guests: 80 during the day, around 15-20 more in the evening
Bridal Attire (with accessories): £867 I got my dress on Etsy and had a hell of a time with it, but ultimately it was beautiful and worked well on the day. This price also includes hair and makeup (£245) by Bombshell Makeup UK (Ali is wonderful!) Jewelry and gold headpiece (worn at reception) was from Debenhams, veil was my MIL's from her wedding❤️ I bought a few pairs of shoes which I've included into the budget but last minute ended up wearing a pair I've owned for years as my dress was still too long! (Long story, not worth it😂)
Groom Attire: £1045 Still laughing that my husband spent more than I did but also not surprised! He's very particular about what he wants so he got a custom made three piece suit. Shirt and tie he bought new (no idea where from actually, but can ask) and shoes he bought a few years back.
Photography: £600 Our photographer was incredible and we got her for a steal! (See my post history on how we managed that) this price included engagement pictures, a very full day of shooting and 1000+ pictures, all ours. Please look up Samantha Kay Photography if you're in the UK and needing a photographer still
Total Venue Costs: £3012 Venue Hire: £2410 (included ceremony fee and reception fee, plus use of gardens) - our venue was absolutely beautiful and worked perfectly for our day. Would highly recommend working with Charlton House as they are very kind and accommodating High Tables used in the gardens: £89 Chairs for Reception: £347 Garden Games: £48 Linens: £118
Cake: £480 Our cake was from London Bakes and Cakes and was delicious! Viktoriya is really lovely and worked hard to make our cake dreams come true
Alpacas: £500 I was obsessed with having alpacas at the wedding and do I made it happen! I know this was a splurge but I don't regret it one bit! Everyone loved hanging out with them, and people are never going to forget the wedding with the alpacas hahaha. Vauxhall City Farm brought the animals and they are great to work with. If you live in London, give the farm a visit and say hello to Tom, Ben, and Jerry!
Florist: £1137 We worked with Anya from Bloom East to create an incredible, dreamy vibe with our flowers. Originally we wanted to do the flowers ourselves as but my in laws gifted us some money we were not expecting, so we decided to let the professional handle it and I'm so glad we did. The flowers were beautiful and for what we paid, we got so much. Price included 10 aisle arrangements, the ceremony arrangement seen in pictures, 10 table centerpieces, bridal bouquet, welcome sign florals, flower girl basket and flowers, 8 buttonholes , 2 corsages, cake flowers, and additional florals on the cake table
Total Food and Drink: £5959 Food & Drink from Caterer: £5400 Wine bought ourselves for dinner: £400 Cheese "cake":£159 TBH the catering was probably the biggest discount we received and also the worst service 😂 can't even go into the details of how awful they were to work with but they delivered on the day (minus quite a few hiccups that only we noticed thank goodness) everyone complimented the food, so that's what matters! This was for canapes during the cocktail hour, buffet main (served starter and dessert) plus evening food, punch and prosecco for the cocktail hour, and prosecco for the toast.
Decor: £792 Table Numbers: £15 Lights: £60 Centerpiece Props: £300 (rough estimate as I collected some of this since before we were engaged; books for all the tables, copper teapots, terrariums) Place Cards and Chargers: £127 Guest Book: £55 Card Box: £35 Gift Table Decor: £20 Cake Stand, topper, and serving set: £97 Menus: £13 Seating Chart& Welcome Sign: £70
Entertainment: £895 DJ: £395 Pianist for cocktail hour and dinner: £500
Miscellaneous Costs: £1711 Bridesmaids Hoops: £54 in materials, made them myself Hotels: £600 Welcome Party: £200 (invited people already in town the night before to a pub, paid for a bunch of food and some rounds of drinks) Wedding Party Gifts: £392 (total of 10 people) Wedding Insurance: £74 Throwing Bouquet: £16 Day of Coordinator: £375- this was the best thing we put money towards! We had Hannah from Complete Rose Events and she completely saved the day. If anyone is debating getting a DOC, please get in touch with me and I'll tell you all the amazing things Hannah did for us
Total Wedding Costs: £17, 792 (the math above isn't perfect, as I rounded up/down on a few things but this is the total on our master budget spreadsheet)
Gifted: £4,000 Total Cost out of Pocket: £13,792
When we first started planning I had £15k stuck in my head. We were actually very close and with the money gifted, we technically came in under our personal budget! Thanks if you've read this long. Happy to answer any questions!

Wedding Date: August 2019, Sunday Evening to Night
Location: Orlando, Florida
Guest Count: 69 (75 was min count for vendors)
Planning time: 1 year
Wedding Planner: Self
Total Cost: US$13,947
 

BREAKDOWN OF COSTS

 
Venue: Orlando Science Center, Level 4 Package, 75 ppl - $3,848
(Ceremony + Reception: $3,000, Dance Floor: $500, Extra Chairs + Tables: $348)
We got the Level 4 package which allowed us the full use of the Our Planet room, the Rotunda, the outdoor Terrace, and DinoDigs. It came with 100 regular resin chairs and 12 round tables, but we added more tables for catering setup and also sprung for some upgraded chairs for the family.
I highly recommend this package deal if you're planning to do any kind of Florida summer event because it's highly flexible for that guaranteed stormy weather. We originally wanted our ceremony to be outside on the Terrace because of the view. OSC was happy to let us build out a Good Weather Plan and a Bad Weather Plan. But then logic ruled and about 4 months before our date we switched to having ceremony in Our Planet instead so we don't have the headache of making last minute weather call. OSC was very accommodating and helped make sure we could still use the Terrace for group photos.
Because everything was on one level, it was super easy for the vendors and guests to get around. The transition from ceremony to cocktail hour to reception also happened very smoothly. OSC staff were great and on top of everything.
Only thing I would note: OSC's communication was fairly passive up until the last 6 weeks before wedding day. They would respond promptly to all our emails, but they didn't reach out to check in on us until close to the date. Because I like planning with ample time to spare, I reached out to them on my own for access to AllSeated early on. The passive communication didn't bother me, but it may stress others out.
 
Catering: Puff 'n Stuff Catering, Dinner Buffet for 75 ppl - $5,627
(Included Hors d'oeuvres, Dinner Buffet, Dessert Table, 8 Vegetarian meals, Coffee and Tea station, Linens, Cutlery etc)
This was our biggest wedding budget win. OSC had an approved caterers list and PnS is their preferred caterer, for good reason! PnS was absolutely fantastic with communication and it was to die for levels of deliciousness. It was originally one of the pricier caterers on the list, but we decided to have a chat with them just to see, and it turns out they were doing a massive discount for summer weddings! That sealed the deal and we immediately booked them that week.
They were professional and took care to make sure all our guests were comfortable. They also set aside plates for us during cocktail hour so we didn't miss out on the food. We got 8 extra veg plates and also folded our vendor meals into the headcount, as the buffet required a min count of 75.
There were PLENTY of leftovers even though people went back for thirds. We're eating leftovers for a week, which saves me from cooking!
 
Open Bar: 3 types of beer, 1 white, 1 red, 1 rose, 1 Tequila Sunrise - $750 (before Total Wine buyback)
Our PnS cost included a beer and wine setup, but we had to provide the alcohol. PnS does a decent job making sure unused liquor and wine bottles are in good condition for Total Wine's buyback. We had a couple of bottles with damaged labels, but we happily kept those for future use. Surprisingly our beer fiend friends didn't really clear out as much of the beer as we hoped, but lots of people got the Tequila Sunrise. We had to get the Grenadine and OJ too, but those were dirt cheap at Publix.
 
Wedding Pie: 10 Key Lime Pies from Publix - $75
I don't like cake, and DH doesn't like paying over $100 for cake. So we got PnS to add some dessert bites, and bought 10 pies from Publix to add to the table. We got too many pies. 6 would have sufficed given we had other desserts too. They were delicious though. We handed extras out to family post-wedding.
 
Photographer: Jesse Giles Photography, 6 hr Main Photographer + 4 hours 2nd Photographer- $1,460
Jessica was fantastic. She managed to be firm with guests while still being friendly and professional. That was a godsend when it came to getting group photos done on the Terrace before the storm rolled in. She always deferred to getting the shots we wanted first, so no worries about guest co-opting your photographer! Her costs are clearly laid out on her website as well, which honestly endeared me to her before we even met. I hated having to message vendors for a quote and then they hound you when you see the quote is out of your budget. She also showed up early and had no problems running back and forth between our prep rooms. Her online payment portal was also wonderful for keeping track of contract and payments.
 
DJ: Classic Disc Jockeys, Ceremony + Reception 5 hr package - $1,195
(4 hr Reception - $995, Additional hr - $200, Photo booth - FREE)
So we also lucked out with this! My husband wanted a more expensive photography company that I didn't like because their email communication was dreadful. He also wanted a DJ, while I foolishly thought a Spotify playlist would suffice. So our compromise was if he gives me Jesse for photography, we'd use the extra budget for a DJ. I'M SO GLAD WE DID THAT. Having a DJ take care of all the music cues and event transitions meant way less things for me to have to pay attention to. And DJ Chuck was great. He dressed professionally, his setup wasn't obnoxiously club-like, and he paid close attention to our song list and our timeline.
He also happened to be doing a free photo booth promo, which is why we picked him over another similarly priced/reviewed DJ. The photo booth was placed in front of the T-Rex at our reception, and the guests had a BLAST taking pics/gifs of them with the dinosaur. I got the full album that night.
 
Officiant - Free
We got our college friend to do it since he was internet ordained and we've gotten the license before anyway. I'm Christian but DH isn't so we compromised by not having a pastor and just doing a Bible reading at the ceremony and a prayer of blessing from my brother during the speeches.
 
Flowers/Decorations - $185
(Fake flowers - $35, Fairy Lights - $50, Misc supplies/signs/paint - $100)
Again, we lucked out. We got almost all our fake flowers from friends and family's previous weddings (These have been passed along from bride to bride for free. 4 weddings now!). All I did was get a few extra ones on Amazon to go with. These flowers are in excellent condition and have been packed up to give to the next DIY bride and continue the tradition. I also spray painted empty wine bottles and pasta jars, then wrapped in ribbon or fairy lights for our centerpieces and aisle decorations. Empty wine bottles were given to us by the case from my MIL's condo neighbors.
For welcome sign and table signs, I designed them on Illustrator, then printed them at Walmart. 20 table signs on 4x4 photo cards cost $5, and I just glued two of each number back to back on white sticks. My 16x20 board print cost $20. The rest of the budget when to crafting supplies and a wooden board for me to hand-paint the seating plan.
 
Dress: RenzRags Etsy Ceremony Dress - $100, Taobao Reception Dress - $20
Sent in my custom measurements for the Etsy dress and it fit like a glove. Had no problems with them whatsoever. Got the closest size for the Taobao dress and that also fit perfectly. Taobao is like Chinese eBay. It's full of fakes and pretty sketch, but if you can find a highly rated store and know how to navigate sketch Chinese reviews, you can find some insane deals. For shoes and jewelry, my friends/family gifted me some over the years and it felt fitting to wear them on the day, so no personal cost there.
 
Suit: Custom Tailor-made from Hong Kong - $300
An acquaintance ran her own suit company and I lived there for a while. So we gave her my husband's measurements and got him a lightweight grey suit and shirt. We were also ok spending more on a nice tailored suit for him since guys can re-wear the same suit for all occasions.
 
Rings: FashionMyHome Etsy - $85
Got a beautiful simple sterling silver wedding band set.
 
BM/GM gifts: Etsy, Walmart, Amazon - $241
Etsy custom coffee cups - $80, Etsy tiebars - $109, Amazon ties: $22, Walmart pashminas: $30
 
Guestbook Sign: MintageDesigns Etsy - $61
We got a 16x36 dark walnut sign. It looks beautiful, great quality and is going on our walls soon.
 
Makeup/Hair - Free (DIY)
Practice practice practice. YouTube is a lifesaver.
 
Invitations/STDs/Website - Free
We used WithJoy for all our RSVPs and invites and keeping track of guests. It's super easy to use and none of our guests had issues using it. We did have to check with some people to make sure invites didn't end up in their spam folder.
 
 

GUEST LIST PLANNING

 
We both have estranged family members. So we invited those we have actually kept in touch with in the past 5-7 years. DH's cousin brought up a good point: Who will we not regret treating to a $100 dinner?
That brought our invite list down from 100 people to 85, and everyone who showed up we thoroughly enjoyed their company.
 

OUR OWN TWIST

 
Theme - Video Games/Fantasy/Sci-Fi
DH and I are huge gamers. I'm also a huge LOTR nerd. We both love Sci-Fi. We wanted our wedding to reflect that without being over the top. So for music we had lots of video game soundtracks. (If anyone wants the song list, DM me. It's also in the comments somewhere.). Our table names were also video game or fictional locations from games that have a special memory for us. One of our welcome signs said "FOREVER DUO QUEUE"
Our guests all loved it and a lot of our friends had fun trying to find the references.
 
Entertainment - Keeping the guests happy
Besides getting a DJ and having dinosaurs around for the reception, we knew some of our guests aren't into dancing or drinking. So we designed a crossword puzzle where the answers are about us and placed them around the reception tables. VERY IMPORTANT TO PROOFREAD. We uh, missed a square for one of the answers. But people had fun doing them and kept sneaking trying to get the answers they don't know from us.
And as mentioned we had a photobooth which was one of the highlights.
 
Tea Ceremony
I'm Chinese, and our traditional weddings are very different from American ones. I wanted to have little references to my culture, but I had no interest in doing the full blown tea ceremony with the kneeling and the blessings. Instead we got three glass teapots, we got two different colors of iced tea in two of of the teapots. Then during the ceremony, we mixed the teas into the third teapot for our own version of a tea ceremony. It turned out to be a nice little photo op.
 

POST-WEDDING THOUGHTS

 

1. Get a wedding email address.
   
2. If you're not hiring a planner, do lots of research into what to look out for, what information vendors need, what information guests would need and have a place where you can list all the information for people to access. I used Google Drive and had separate folders for each vendor and set sharing permissions so people are limited to their specific folder. Vendors all loved it and told me it was easy for them to find information without bugging me.
   
3. If you love doing DIY and want that for your wedding go for it! But be realistic with the scale of decorations. I had to pare down some of my initial plans because things would have cost too much in supplies or because I didn't want to stress myself out crafting every weekend.
   
4. Guests will bug you about their travel plans. Remember they are travelling because they love you. It helps with the frustration of "I PLANNED THIS WHOLE THING AND YOU CAN'T BOOK A HOTEL ROOM WITHOUT HELP??" I had a guest who flew in from London and asked me to call her and her husband an Uber when they arrived. At 11pm. When I was about to fall asleep. Definitely had to hold my tongue and remember that she's been a dear friend for 14 years.
   
5. If you can't rely on your wedding party, don't ask them to be BM/GM. Ours were lifesavers day-of, from all the little stuff like helping me put on fake lashes to helping wrangle people for group photos.
   
6. It was a little frustrating planning at first because I did a lot of research and DH didn't but had opinions. For example, we actually moved from South Florida to Central Florida halfway through planning due to other life events. But while we still lived in South FL, I made a list of venues in Central FL because it was much cheaper. DH kept bugging me about having it closer to home. So I simply told him I'd be happy to consider South FL, but he'll have to research and set up the venue tour list himself. After a week he couldn't find anything so he conceded and for the rest of the planning process actually helped with research and planning. It helped our relationship a lot too, and made the whole wedding feel like a joint effort.
   
7. We took notes from all the other weddings we went to, and went through them to see what we liked and what didn't work. It helped circumvent a lot of issues like music volume or traffic flow.
   
8. It's hard to spend time with all of your guests. We managed to make it around to chat with 8 out of the 10 tables in between eating and talking and dancing and photos. Definitely send them follow up messages if you missed them to let them know their presence was appreciated. If they know your family members, assign them to help socialize and make guests feel welcomed.
   
9. Don't be afraid to ask your vendors questions if you're confused and get everything in writing. We did all our communication over email, and if it was over the phone or in-person we immediately sent out a recap email and asked for confirmation. All our vendors were great and didn't try to screw us over, but having documentation helped in clearing up confusion over some of the payments.
   
10. We forgot to get wedding insurance and THANKFULLY weather cooperated. But if you know your wedding is in storm season, get that insurance.
    
11. It's expensive throwing a wedding. But if you do it during off-seasons, it seemed that more places had off-season discounts, so you may be able to save more that way.
    

 

FUCK-IT BUCKET

 

1. Favors. We just had hershey kisses on the table. No one cared!
   
2. Videographer. We knew we were never going to sit down and watch a video. It was also super chaotic getting ready that day so I didn't need to have a video of me running around with half a shoe on.
   
3. Paper invites. All our guests were tech savy and we didn't want to deal with the fear of post getting lost. Email it is!
   
4. Honeymoon right after wedding. Dude I'm EXHAUSTED. Last thing I need is to bother with traveling. Instead we're hoarding our PTOs for a nice long trip next year.
   

 

Congrats to all the happy couples who just got engaged and are starting the planning process! I hope this post helped. :)

Hello Weddit,
Wedding recaps and budget breakdowns really helped me during the planning phase. I didn’t see many UK ones, or ones that had a ‘small’ budget like mine. So, I thought I’d help anyone who might find this useful.
First – pictures! http://imgur.com/gallery/nFI26
My husband and I got married on the 22nd of July 2017 in Norwich, England. The venue was the Benefactor’s room in Norwich Castle, followed by dinner and dancing at the Last Wine Bar. Total budget, including our honeymoon to a five-star luxury hotel in the Austrian Alps for a week (Hotel Jungbrunn), was £10k.
We got engaged on the 22nd of October 2016, so had exactly 9 months to plan. We knew early on that we wanted a simple registry office wedding and that we didn’t want to spend more than £10k. To help with sticking to the budget, we set the maximum number of guests to 50. Luckily, we found this decision quite easy to make, because we both wanted an intimate wedding where we only invited our closest friends and family. We also wanted to prioritize treating our guests to delicious food, which is easier if you have fewer people!
So, the first decision to make was where to get married. I work as a lecturer at the University of Bristol, he works in London for the civil service, we live in Reading, we met in Sheffield doing our PhDs, I’m from Vienna, Austria, and he’s from Norwich! So, lots of places to choose from! We decided on Norwich for two reasons: 1) his entire family and most of his friends live there, 2) the registry office is in Norwich Castle and they allow you to take pictures in the grounds for free. An easy choice! The registry office (Benefactor’s Room) allows for 50 people, which was perfect for us.
We wanted a relaxed reception with amazing food, so I did some searching online and found the Last Wine Bar. It’s a restaurant that’s been open for 25 years, and used to be an old shoe factory! They have really cool decorations around the place as a result, check out their website. Their private room allows for 50 people, just like the castle, so it seemed perfect. We went to try their food over Christmas, and it was amazing. The manager seemed great, and there was no fee to hire the venue! We agreed on an open wine/beer bar (with some rough upper limits – 12 bottles of prosecco, 30 bottles of wine, 25 bottles of beer) and a three-course meal (£30 a head) based around local food, which they created for our wedding. They also arranged our ‘cake’, which was made of local cheeses, and recommended a florist for us (Katherine - Ivy Floral Events), who was great. They gave us a quote, and it ended up being accurate within £1! They know their stuff.
We aimed for 45 people total, and ended up with 40 adult guests and a baby (my nephew) – so 43. Everyone we invited came, save some +1s who couldn’t make it. I’d say it was about 60% family and 40% friends. We were strict on both ends – only close family and very close friends. Although this sounds hard, I actually loved only having ‘VIPs’ at the wedding!
The wedding didn’t really have a theme and we didn’t have groomsmen or bridesmaids. We picked our two closest friends as our witnesses, and they got to wear whatever they wanted. The only thing we were sure we wanted were local flowers and food. I have a PhD in climate politics and teach global ethics, and my husband has a PhD in renewable energy (chemistry), and advises the government on low emissions vehicles, so that was important to us! As for the entertainment, all we had were speeches and a homemade playlist (which my brother managed on the night, he has some mixing skills from his days DJ-ing at art school parties). No one seemed to mind the lack of games, photo booth etc. – so if you’re worried about not having these, maybe that will help! There was also no gartebouquet toss, there were no formal dances, no group games, and we didn’t ask people to give speeches if they didn’t want to (neither set of parents spoke, for example). Everyone had a blast, and commented on how intimate and ‘us’ the wedding was.
Overall, nothing went ‘wrong’ at all – we had so much fun. The ceremony was beautiful. The dinner was delicious and super relaxed. The speeches were heartfelt and funny. The dancing was hilarious. We had a wonderful wedding. My best advice: the love and support that surrounds you on the day is powerful. You, and your guests, will all enjoy the wedding no matter what goes wrong/right.
For those who want more details:
Wedding Breakdown
10-2 pm – getting ready at a salon (Cottage Hair and Beauty) with my sisters and Morgan (witness 1).
2-2.30pm – walk to hotel with Morgan, get dressed, meet up with groom and Andy (witness 2).
2.30-3.45 pm – walk to castle, pictures in the castle grounds of bride, groom, witnesses.
3.45-4pm – greet guests. Groom and I met the registrar, and were whisked away to our positions (groom and Andy waited in room, bride and Morgan waited for everyone to take their seats).
4pm-4.20pm ceremony.
4.20-4:45pm reception line, confetti pictures.
4:45-5.30pm – family pictures, bride and groom pictures on the way to reception (cocktail hour at the Last Wine Bar for friends and family once pictures finished).
5.30-6pm – cocktail hour continues, groom and I check the room is set up correctly, photographer takes pictures of the room, we have one drink with guests.
6-9:30pm – dinner and speeches. Husband and I welcomed everyone and witnesses spoke before dinner. We then had one or two speeches between each course, which worked really well! Speeches were exclusively by siblings and friends, and they were amazing.
9:30pm – cheese ‘cake’ cutting, final speech (my four siblings), dancing. Those who didn’t want to dance (mostly husband’s side) sat, chatted, and ate cheese. Everyone was happy!
11.30pm – last dance, closing time. I’d say just over half of the guests made it until the end, which is great.
Budget Breakdown
Invitations - £100 (abirdandabee.com). RSVPs via email.
Website - £75 homemade, wix.com (fee for our own domain and ad-free website).
Venues - £399 for registry office (Benefactor’s Room), £75 registering intent to marry, £0 for Last Wine Bar.
Outfits - £225 for my dress (Etsy – Mermaid Bridal), £50 to get it taken in, £60 for my shoes (Clarks), £650 for my husband’s three-piece suit and bowtie/pocket square from Walker Slater (yes, I teased him for spending more than twice as much as me). He wore a shirt and shoes he already owned (his choice).
Rings - £1515, we splurged on platinum since we were doing so well with the rest of the budget.
Makeup/hair - £210 for me (Cottage Hair and Beauty) including a trial. My sisters and best friend paid for themselves (normal in England, £95 each).
Flowers - £498 total. Included my bouquet (£80), hair flowers (£16), and flowers on the tables/around the venue, set up and clean up.
Food - £2568.63 including a three-course meal for 42, 12 bottles of prosecco, 28 bottles of wine, and 17 bottles of beer (open bar, hence weird numbers), and a ‘cake’ of chees (£200).
Photographer - £300 (Duncan Stafford Photography). We offered him £1000 but he refused. He is a friend of ours and all he asked for was a hotel room for him and his wife (also a guest, one of my best friends) for two nights! We bought him a nice bottle of champagne as well.
Hotel for two nights for bride and groom - £260 (St Giles House).
Wedding favors/guestbook/table numbers etc. - £200. We bought everyone a tin with Norwich Castle on it (£4, Dave Thompson Art – everyone took theirs home), got a guestbook and markers from Paperchase, and I got the table numbers from paperthemes.co.uk and place cards from amazon.
Honeymoon – flights (Heathrow-Munich) £332.80, car £157.41, hotel £1860.19 (Hotel Jungbrunn – all meals included, 6 course dinner every night), £200 cash for hiking trips, fuel, the odd glass of wine at dinner, etc.
Total costs – £9716.03
Thanks for reading, hope it’s helpful!

We are on the fence about getting a wedding planner.
If we don’t get one, one of the things I am confused about is the venue and decor.
Most of the venues I’ve been looking at in central London only give you access from say noon for a 3pm wedding. On my wedding morning I want to be chilling at a hotel, drinking champagne, and getting my hair and make up done with my b-maids - I certainly wouldn’t want to be at the venue running around decorating. I’d be happy to do it if we had the venue the previous day, but this is not how places I am looking at seem to work.
I know the caterers lay the tables but do they also dress them with the pretty stuff and place cards and favours etc? And who does all of the non-catering related decoration - fairy lights, flower walls, cute signs, all that kind of stuff?
I really don’t like the idea of asking my family to do it. Would I need to hire an on-the-day stylist or coordinator to make sure this gets done?
Sorry if it’s a silly question.

Hello!
My wife and I got married 3 weeks ago now and I've just stumbled across this subreddit.
People are incredibly surprised at how cheap our wedding was (relatively of course) and I thought this info might help people who are planning their own weddings.
Context: We live in London, U.K., which is an expensive place to live and get married. I am 25, my wife is 30, and we make respectively £38k and £32k a year. We had no family financial help and wanted to pay for the whole thing up front. We were engaged in May and married the following October which is quick I know! We were married in a non legal ceremony in a park, with 50 guests, and then dinner in a venue nearby, with another 50 guests joining after dinner. We spent £6000 total (~$8000USD)
Here's how! Ceremony venue: beautiful local park, free. We called the council, said we were having a family event, and they said as long as we didn't erect any structures or damage the grounds we could use it for free. The park is called Well Hall Pleasuance is you want to google for photos! It was truly stunning and we loved it. We hired 60 chairs for the ceremony which was expensive, £250, but there were cheaper options than the ones we got. Depending on your guests it would also potentiallybe ok to ask them to stand.
Celebrant: we did a courthouse wedding the following week, and so asked an actor friend to put out feelers for an actor to conduct the ceremony for £20/hour. Ended up that a friend of hers is a vicar who did it for us for £60 total. Courthouse legal stuff was about £150 all told.
Ceremony cocktail hour: we bought nibbles to the park, and set up a table with dips and bread etc. We bought a case of prosecco, bins, plastic glasses, soft drinks and ice, and asked everyone to bring a bottle. There was plenty to drink and nobody felt hard done by having to bring a bottle. We ate, drank and mingled in the park while photos went on, and only spent maybe £150 total.
Ceremony music: purely due to luck, we have a friend who is in a string quartet and they played for £50 each (£200)
Car: my wife (who is a massive grafter) found a car she liked through a local vintage car facebook group, contacted the owner and offered him £150 to pick her and bridesmaids up, drive to ceremony, wait while we were in the park drinking (3 hours) and then drove us to the reception. He doesn't do wedding driving normally, but my wife was able to talk him into it.
Reception: we found a very new gallery type venue that was opening up (through other events we run) and haggled them down. Their usual fee was £1200 for a day, but we paid £350 for the venue, and they ran the bar and took bar profits. We also paid an extra £70 for a late license (to stay open till 1am) and £175 for a half day hire to get in the day before and decorate. This required quite a lot of work, as they were not a traditional wedding venue and didn't have a fully functional kitchen, so we had to bring a lot of our own things in (deep fryer, oven, plates, cutlery etc.) We own most of these things because of events my wife runs but even without this access, many food truck type businesses have pop up kitchens they can bring in and set up in a space. Food was brought in cooked so only needed heating and serving.
Flowers: we went to our local wholesale flower market (went once a couple of months in advance to price things up and test out the bouquets) and my wife and one of her bridesmaids made them and the boutonnières. Our centrepieces were tropical style palm leaves and fern fronds, which we also bought from the market. We also bought a number of large potted trees - bamboo, and Kentia palm trees- for decoration which were incredibly affordable at whole sale prices. We have also been able to sell these plants on since the wedding to recoup our costs. Spent about £40 on flowers, £100 on greenery for centrepieces, and £300 on plants (which we have recouped already.)
Decorations: my wife is incredibly proficient at Gumtree bargains and was able to find a kilometre of fairy lights for £80 secondhand which we strung across the ceiling and looked fantastic. The guy we bought them from had clearly bought the strings of lights in bulk, and then cut them into 200m lengths and attached a plug. This would not be difficult to do for anyone with a little bit of electrical knowledge. We had photo collages of baby photos and couple photos that my wife printed at work (bonus of working for a newspaper) in frames we bought a from IKEA less than £5 each. My wife designed all the table plans, order of service etc and we also framed these. Spent maybe £20 total. The only other decoration we had was green and white ombré paper garlands. We couldn't find anything in the right colour online, and we needed about 80 of them to cover the walls. My wife bought a a load of aeropress coffee filters online, dyed them, dried them, and then her and one of her bridesmaids sewed them into 8foot lengths. It was probably 16 hours of work but cost less than £50 and they looked great on the walls. Candles we bought from IKEA.
Food: we made the canapés ourselves two days before the wedding - two types of bruschetta, onion bhajis, and veggie gyoza ( bought frozen from Chinese supermarket ) - and the staff simply prepped them and served them. Cost about £60.
We skipped a starter in favour of lots of canapés, and went straight to main course. Main course was Ethiopian food from our favourite restaurant. We had four different stews, a salad, and injera (bread.) The food was delivered he day before, and was heated up by staff onsite, and served sharing style. We approached the restaurant, told them what we wanted and that we had a £300 budget (£6 a head for 50 people.) They came back and asked for £350 and that is what we paid. The food was delicious, plentiful, veggie and gluten free friendly, and people loved it. Sharing made service easy and nobody really waited for food. We also made the dessert ourselves - a lemon elderflower posset (sweetened set cream) which the staff topped with blueberries and a biscuit. We collected a load of Guu pots (little glass ramekins that contain a brand of mini dessert, everyone has some lying around the house so it was easy and free to accumulate 50) to put the dessert in. We did a late night pizza snack, with 60 store bought frozen cheese pizzas. We supplied Parmesan, oregano, chilli flakes and garlic oil to jazz up the pizzas which worked quite well. Total cost less than £100. Would highly recommend a late night snack - the number of people who said it arrived just as they might be tipping over into too drunk was hilarious. My own brother actually almost had to leave at 10:30 because he was too drunk and then he ate a whole pizza and was back on the dance floor till closing. Total food cost was less than £600.
Alcohol: having a couple of hours drinking fizz at the ceremony meant everyone was nicely lubricated for only the cost of a bottle from the supermarket ( obviously local drinking regulations might mean drinking in public is not possible ) I run a brewery, so I brewed a wedding beer that we supplied to the venue under the condition that it be subsidised. The venue still got to make their money on it, but it was £2 a pint rather than the usual London £5. We also agreed that the bar would be affordable overall. If you are having a cash bar I would recommend checking this in advance - I went to a wedding last year where the drinks were incredibly expensive and it really puts a dampener on the night if people are reluctant to drink, or resentful about the cost.
Music: we opted not to go for a DJ mostly for the cost, we made a dinner playlist, a first and second dance playlist, and a late night playlist and had an MC friend change between them. This was absolutely fine for us, and I have no regrets.
Outfits: I bought a suit from ASOS and then had it altered so it fit perfectly. Suit was about £150 and alterations £280. Shoes, shirt, tie, socks, etc were about another £100. Spent roughly £500. Suits don't generally fit me well off the rack but I bought my brother a suit also from ASOS which fit him perfectly and was £120 so depends on your build.
My wife had a dress made, she bought the skirt online, and had a seamstress alter it, make her the top bit, based on a design they created together. It was absolutely beautiful and cost about £400.
Staff: we hired four staff to take care of food and service. One is a chef and three work as restaurant supervisors at a food company that runs large banquet style events. If you are hiring your own staff I would make pains to ensure they are experienced with event work. Our staff were just incredible- everything was seamless and they took care of everything, including taking down all Of the decorations at the end of the night.
Photography: we had an professional photographer acquaintance take our photos for £450 for the day and editing which is a bargain.
Bits and pieces: Gumtree!! We bought countless things secondhand from Gumtree, eBay and freecycle. We've also sold a lot of them on since the wedding.
We also bought several things that we either didn't use (gazebos in case of rain) or only used once that we then returned for a refund. Make sure you buy these things close to the wedding day so they're still in the return period after the wedding when you get around to returning them.
We hired a van two days before the wedding which was invaluable for picking things up and setting up the venue.
General advice:

1. Don't tell vendors it's a wedding till you get a price! Is this same vein, consider non traditional vendors and venues who might not normally do weddings and so are cheaper.
   
2. Leave loads of time for everything
   
3. Don't be afraid to haggle
   
4. Don't plan to do ANYTHING on the morning of the wedding except get ready. You think you have time. You don't.
   

We had an awesome time planning our wedding, and we did it all in 4 months, you can do it! Expect to spend most evenings pouring over lists and budgets and eBay.
I'm happy to answer any questions you might have about keeping costs down. :)

First of all, thank you, as a community, for all your help and advice with planning our shindig. I was never a heavy poster here, but your advice was invaluable. I hope this post might give something back.
We got married last May, and only now have I had a chance to get this all written down (and hopefully formatted)
The main story is also found on the imgur album here, but I'll do the breakdown here:
We got married twice! I'm Anglo-American, and my wife is Russo-Lithuanian, so in order to encompass we all of our family and friends, and all of the things we love, we did a registery office and party in London, and the following weekend a religious ceremony - and three day party! - in Lithuania.
This mean that we could have as many people celebrating with us as possible in London, while having a wedding we could never afford in the UK alone!
Wedding 1
The setup:
Day 1, Saturday May 20, London
I stayed at home, while my wife got an airbnb with her family and bridesmaids.
14:00 - wedding ceremony at a west London registery office (20 people)
14:45 - walk five minutes from the registery office to the Thames, for some photos and prosecco by the river (cheaper than buying the wine at the pub, too!)
15:30 - head to a pub on the river for lunch and drinks (people paid for themselves, barring close family). There was no venue hire, just a minimum spend that we hit with no problem.
17:00 - our first mistake! Our venue, which was quirky and cheap - a photographic studio in East London, involved everyone piling into ubers and heading across town. The bonus was that I got to spend 45 minutes relaxing and having out with my wife! Then we met up with the core party there and supervised setting up the venue. I sent a pair of groomsmen to pick up some of our food from restaurants we love (see below).
19:00 - party! We had 120 of our nearest and dearest drinking and dancing, with some moving speeches. We had a translator on hand for our families (my wife's parents don't speak English), and she did an admirable job translating speeches.
04:00 - stumble out of the venue, and into a hotel room next door!
Food in London:
We went to Smithfields meat market, a still functioning market in the heart of the city, and went to one of the professional catering companies. We ordered piles of pate, wheels of cheeses, antipasti and meats. We also got a wedding 'cake', 100 portuguese custard tarts! Topped with a £10 white cake from tesco for the ceremonial cutting!
My groomsmen went to pick up two of our favourite London foods: bagels with salmon and cream cheese from Beigel Bake, a famous 24 hour bagel shop in Brick Lane, and dozens of Khachipuri, a Georgian cheese pie, which is one of the best foods in the world!. We over-ordered, and were eating bagels and Khachipuri for the next week! (We donated a couple of sacks of bagels (!) to charity as well).
Here is the cost breakdown, with notes:

• AirBNB (wife, night before): £200
• Hotel (night of): £100
• Registry Office: £70
• Registry Room Rental: £210
• Pub reception room: £0 (£400 minimum spend)
• Reception Venue: £2,500
• Bagels, Khachpuri, Other food: £550
• Wedding Dress (Reiss): £250 (re-wearable)
• Bouquet/Flowers: £65
• Ubers: £100
• ZipCar (car rental) £24
• Make-up/Hair: £30 (a professional friend only charged for supplies)
• Photographer: £280 (a professional friend - a news/politics photographer! only charged for camera rental)

Wedding 2
The setup:
Day 1, Friday 26 May
We took control of our venue in Lithuania at noon, and set about decorating. The venue was a converted barn on grounds that had once had a 17th century mansion house on them. As such, there was a giant venue, as well as a set of picturesque ruins, and an excellent on site brewery, selling beer (which they also sell all over the country) for €1.50 a glass. All this was next to a stunning lake in the countryside. We supplied free wine, which we had purchased in France and had transported over at the cost of €100. We had a hundred bottles of wine and a dozen boxes of cheaper plonk for the days before and after the wedding. For reference, our wedding red wine is now on sale in waitrose supermarkets in the UK at £7.99 a bottle, it cost us £1.49 a bottle in bulk, and is actually nice!
17:00 - people began to arrive at the venue, where almost everyone was staying. They were checked in, and those who were not in the immediate wedding party were charged for their room (this was taken off the price of the venue hire). Luckily the venue was happy to take the role of charging people.
18:30 - thanks fully threatened rain never materialised, and we had dinner in the ruins, a long communal table was set up, and we strung lights from the walls of the ruins. The chefs prepared a giant barbecue, which included a shockingly delicious beaver stew! This was my idea, as it had been mentioned that the venue owner hunted beaver for meat, and a Catholic friend of mine had requested a fish option for Friday. Me, being a smartarse, happened to know that the beaver had been declared a fish by the Catholic Church in the 1750s! So while there was some delicious fish on the barbecue, the runaway hit of the day was this stunning stew, which we ate as the sun set, next to a huge bonfire. We then moved over to the brewery for the evening, and my fiancée headed back to her parents place to prepare for the next day.
Day 2, Saturday 27 May
08:00 - woke up, got dressed, and drove my dad and best man over to my fiancée's town (an hour away), for the wedding ceremony. Nervous as hell, but no time to dwell on it!
13:00 - aaaaaahhhhhhh! In the church, waiting for my fiancée! We didn't do a first look, so I just about kept it together when she came in. Stunning dress (though I'm not allowed to know the price, which is probably for the best).
13:50 - prosecco outside while we do some group photos and run off to take a photo by the local war memorial, a Russian tradition.
14:00 - get back to find everyone gone! We jumped into the car, and sped up the road, to find them waiting at the bridge out of town- time for another tradition! I had to carry my wife over the bridge. And they picked a bloody long one!
15:00 - back to the venue, reception, canapés, and we run off to take some photos. People kick back a bit, freshen up in their rooms.
18:00 - dinner! Delicious russian food, herring, salads, chicken, steak and vegetarian options. This was periodically interrupted by more russian traditions and speeches, including a symbolic lighting of a candlestick by her parents and then my parents, as well as others (some are shown in the imgur album). We had to run off to take photos in the middle, to get the sunset shots, which meant I never got to finish my meal - it's true, there's never the time!
19:30 - cake cutting! We did a cake made of wheels of cheese, including Lithuanian, French and British ones. A friend rus a dairy, and gave us two incredible wheels as a wedding gift!
20:00 (or so) - we disappeared for a moment to ourselves, and trialed our first dance! It was great to take a moment, especially as while we were having fun, it was quite stressful in parts, and we had at times throughout the day snapped at each other, which was a bit of a downer. This really served as a reset button, and once the dance was done, we were free to party until the early hours! DJ was set up with a list of American, British and Russian favourites, we tapped into the supply of prosecco, and partied all night! We had more canapes brought out at midnight to help soak up some of the local beer!
Day 3, Sunday, 28 May
Recovery day! About 3/4 of our guest were still with us, and we swam in the lake, used the Russian sauna (Banya) which was perched on the edge of the lake, and eventually all joined together for an Elk (!) stew sitting on the lakeside. We really got to use every aspect of the venue.
Negatives and lessons:
London
Venues were too far apart. Other than that though, it was excellent. If we only had that wedding, that would have been fine!
Lithuania
mosquitos! At dusk each night, waves of them. The Russians were immune, but us westerners were eaten alive. Luckily, it only lasted for about 45 minutes a day, and it was easy to duck inside the venue or spray up with DEET.
Photography - great photographer, but we didn't have many photos of the venue, centerpieces, etc. We also missed out on some combinations of people, including groomsmen and bridesmaid shots. I wish we could have coordinated the sunset shots better. A side effect of a three-day wedding is that there are amazing moments that haven't been immortalised, though we did set up a Dropbox for our guests to share photos, and we have placed all the photos on out website for a year after the wedding.
DJ - musically great, but we didn't get to speak to him before the day, hence he began playing our dancing list as we sat down to dinner (MoH had to go get him to play something more appropriate - and quoter). We also had to make him turn off the disco lights while we were eating. No one had told him that our first dance would be in a different place, so we had to get him to re-set speakers at one point.
Food - some miscommunications, such as no waitstaff to serve canapés when we got back from the ceremony. They also forgot to put champagne flutes out on the tables.
Drink - not much to complain about, though once the first dance was over I… overindulged a bit, once the tension lifted! The russians, of course, brought some vodka, but no one went too crazy on it.
Wedding planner - we should have had one, at least a day-of coordinater, just so that we could have someone to act as a trouble fixer when something wasn't quite right
Positives - well, everything else! Surrounded by people we love, from three continents for four days! Stunning flowers and dresses and food and views.
Table list and cetnrepieces: We had a big map of the world, and each table represented a different place we’ve been, symbolised by our old guidebooks and piles of photographs from each country. We put guests from far away places on tables which would be covered by photos of us going to visit them. The bridesmaid’s boquets were repurposed as centrepieces, along with local flowers picked from the woods by my wife’s mother and her friends.
Here's the Lithuania cost breakdown:
Lithuania:

• Venue (inc bartab, sauna, three dinners, including wedding breakfast, three ‘actual’ breakfasts) £10,820
• Guest room rates taken off total: -£1,274
• Church Candles/Fees: £80 (my Wife’s father works for the church, so a good discount was provided)
• Wife and bridesmaid, mothers make-up, hair:£150
• Wedding Dress: I’m not allowed to know. A lot.
• Taxis and Transport (including rental car) £400 Photographer: £280
• Robes for bridesmaids/mothers: £320
• Flights:£300 (including flight earlier in the year to scout/see her parents)
• Hay Bales £8 (for rustic aesthetic)
• Cheese (cake) £70 (this worked as a big part of lunch the next day too,as well as drunk food)
• Flowers:£105
• Centrepieces: £90 (photo printing)
• Wedding favours:£0 (little Russian Dolls, a wedding gift from a friend who came from St Petersburg)

And combined costs (things that covered both weddings):

• Save the dates/invitations: £200
• Stamps: £60
• Instax Camera:£100 (sold on ebay later)
• Wife’s Shoes: £189
• Assorted Decorations: £150
• Wine (both venues): £1,000 (there was plenty left over, we’re still drinking it!)
• My Suit: £120 (worn as a two piece in London, a three piece in Lithuania)

It's been over a month since our wedding, and I thought I'd take the time to post a recap of our DIY projects. As a head's up, I chose to crop my husband and our guests' faces out of the photos for their privacy :)
Background
We had a small (40 person) outdoor, afternoon wedding at a local public park. We hired out major vendors (DOC with assistant, catering, photography, officiant, shuttle, trash pick-up) and opted to skip the DJ and florist. Our DOC was responsible for set-up and break-down, and did not handle any of the planning or logistics.
Music
My husband's brother and his wife gifted us a wireless, rechargeable, Bluetooth-enabled speaker that they had used for their wedding ceremony. We made three Spotify playlists for the wedding, which we downloaded to an old iPhone:

• Pre-ceremony: A variety of instrumental covers by the Vitamin String Quartet
• Processional: VSQ's cover of Portal 2's Cara Mia Addio
• Reception: It took a year to put this together, and I LOVE how it turned out! Older folks loved the older rock and R&B, younger folks loved the folk-rock and pop--it was perfect for our crowd. I can give a break-down on how I put it together if anyone is interested.

Rings
My husband and I made our own wedding bands back in February. We worked with Stephanie of With These Rings, who is an absolute delight. We made three white gold rings: One 5mm band with a hammered finish for my husband, and two 2mm bands for me. I wear the polished band with my engagement ring, and the hammered band on my right hand so that my husband and I have matching rings that touch when we hold hands :) I also have a ~2mm half-eternity band that I can swap to if I want something with more sparkle/bling. Pictures: 1, 2.
Hair, Makeup, and Nails

• As much as I love how modern bridal makeup looks on other people, I absolutely hate it on myself. I chose to do my own makeup, and I used this video on Princess Diana's makeup as inspiration. I wore foundation with a light coverage (MAC Face & Body) and opted to ignore all advice on wearing falsies, contouring, using liquid lipstick, etc. I absolutely love how it turned out :) Pictures: 1, 2, 3, and 4--last one was after 12+ hours of wear.
• I also decided to do my own nails. I went with a gel polish to avoid breakage; the color is Cashmere Kind of Gal by Gelish. I don't have a photo of my feet, but my toe polish was Macbeth by Butter London. Picture: 1.
• I asked my sister--who is not a hair stylist, and who lives 3,000 miles away--to do my hair for me. She spent months buying different products and practicing--it was incredibly sweet of her, and I loved spending that quiet time in the morning chatting with her while getting ready. I wanted simple beach waves, and we opted to include a twist at the last minute to hold my hair off my neck because it was 100+ degrees outside. Pictures: 1, 2, and 3.

Tables
For reference, here's some shots of the guest tables: 1, and 2.

• We opted to use paper tablecloths to avoid renting them, and I made crepe paper centerpieces to avoid paying for a florist. It cost about $150 in materials to make 19 centerpieces. Each bottle has a cream peony, ivory rose, red ranunculus, pink sweet pea, and green eucalyptus stem. After the wedding, we gifted the centerpieces and leftover supplies to someone who used them for a wedding shower. Picture: 1.
• I cross-stitched the table numbers and put them in IKEA frames that DH spray-painted. We had seven tables, so I made 14 numbers so everything would be double-sided. Pictures: 1, and 2.
• Our DOC recommended that we add something to the tables to weigh the tablecloths down. I designed, cut, and hot-glued labels on mini water bottles that were placed at each setting. It ended up being a RIDICULOUSLY windy day, and I am so glad I listened to our DOC's advice! Picture: 1.
• We served BBQ for lunch, and I opted to make little napkin packets that included a hidden package of wet wipes. Oddly enough, this was one of my favorite projects--it only took one afternoon to put them together, and they turned out super cute :) Picture: 1.

Signs
I purchased chalkboards from Target's dollar spot, and designed the signs using Inkscape. I would print the design, rub chalk on the back, and then use a pencil to trace and transfer the chalk onto the board. I used a combination of Sharpie oil-based paint markers and Versachalk pens to hand-letter the signs. DH helped me paint the borders on the single-sided signs:

• Welcome table
• Memorial
• Bathroom basket
• Board and lawn games
• Appetizers and dessert
• Lunch menu
• Drinks menu

Other decor

• A few years ago, my husband (then-boyfriend) helped me pick out fabric and make banners for my classroom. We re-used one of the banners to decorate the picnic pavilion for our reception :) Picture: 1.
• Our card box was a cheap $3 plastic box from Target, which I painted to match our wedding signs. Picture: 1.
• I designed our guestbook in Inkscape, which DH had printed at his workplace for free. Picture: 1.
• Our pie topper was a mutual effort--I provided DH with the fonts and design elements, and he spent the time making the vector in Inkscape. A friend laser-cut the topper for us while we were both sick with norovirus. Picture: 1.
• Finally, at DH's request, I made a snarky cross stitch sign to add to our welcome table. Picture: 1.

The thank-god-I-didn't-DIY items
There were a few things I wanted to DIY, but decided to purchase in the end. Honestly, it was money well spent to not make these myself--and the sellers did a far better job than I would have, anyway:

• Vow book, purchased from The Apothecary Bee.
• Bouquet, with a bonus 2nd picture, purchased from Southern Girl Weddings.
• Apron, purchased from Mama Madison--conveniently, my favorite pattern happened to also be in our wedding colors :)
• Coasters, purchased from Paper Source.
• Invitations, purchased from Minted.

That's it for now! I'll try to post a budget breakdown sometime, too :) Happy planning, everyone!

Like the title says, I got engaged this last September and just found this subreddit, so I'm a little late to the party... But I am so excited about everything I've planned and have worked SO hard to make this the wedding my fiancé and I have always dreams about, so I thought I share what I have with all of you. :) Who better to gush about wedding planning than other people who are also obsessing over wedding planning?!
Warning: I started getting less and less detailed as the post goes on... It was getting long. PLEASE feel free to comment or PM me if you have any specific questions! Also- It's kind of out of order, so please bear with me. :)
So, our wedding is happening on May 28th of this year (only like 2 months away, woo!), which is 2 weeks after we graduate from college, meaning this has been the craziest few months EVER. Our wedding planning has been a journey, for sure, since I started planning a wedding for 200+ guests, and we ended up changing our minds and are now having a wedding of around 50 guests (we realized we really don't like big parties so why would we plan something we don't like for the biggest day of ours lives, right?).
So first things first, here's my FH and me, plus the engagement ring: It's beautiful and I love it and my fiancé chose the absolute perfect and most fitting ring for me. :) http://imgur.com/a/XeQVK
Within a month or so after our engagement, I asked my 4 closest friends to be my bridesmaids (the people in our bridal party are the only people we're inviting to the wedding that are non-family). These are what I made them to "pop the question": http://imgur.com/a/YeFwH
After that, we started looking for dresses. This is the dress I chose for our "big" wedding, and I loved it, but ultimately could not justify the price, and it honestly just felt too "grand" for my personality, so it is NOT the dress I ended up getting, but I included it because it was lovely, and part of the wedding planning process. :) From Bella Rose Bridal in Edmond, OK: http://imgur.com/a/shOnq
THIS is the dress -- much simpler, and I love it. :) Plus it has pockets, so that basically sealed the deal for me. Bought at David's Bridal in OKC, OK: http://imgur.com/a/K9rPu
I had originally bought some pretty simple (and very on sale) white heels from David's Bridal, but my darling aunt sent me a text just the other day saying "Hannah Grace, I saw these shoes and knew that you absolutely needed them" and I said "UHH OK" so these are my Jimmy Choo wedding shoes (casual) (SORRY WHAT I'M TOO EXCITED ABOUT THIS BECAUSE THEY COST MY THAN MY DRESS AND A MONTHS WORTH OF RENT): http://imgur.com/a/Ci9DK
With that, here's a picture of my veil, which I am SO excited about. I got it off of Etsy and she even made a special order to shorten the veil I wanted, because I'm so short (5'0"). It took a few weeks to come it, but it's beautiful and I adore it. Here's the link to her shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/julesveils And here's a picture of the veil: http://imgur.com/a/cwQyX
We are having our ceremony and reception at Red Prime, which is a fancy steakhouse in downtown OKC, but they have a second floor ballroom-ish area that we're renting out. Here are some pictures that we took just look at the space, as well as some professional pictures of it "done up": http://imgur.com/a/tlkO3 http://imgur.com/a/N2ZYN
Here is a picture of our save-the-dates completed: http://imgur.com/a/ElQrx
Link to the template I bought: https://www.etsy.com/transaction/1113057357
Link to the stamp I bought for the return address: https://www.etsy.com/transaction/1111204330
I basically just got translucent envelopes off of Amazon, and a wax seal (the Letter A, for FH's last name), and wine red colored wax (one of our wedding colors), printed the save-the-dates off at Kinko's, and put it all together. :) The wax seals were a bit of work, but I think it was worth it in the end.
Here are pictures of our wedding invitations (link to the Etsy listing): https://www.etsy.com/listing/243127646/vintage-rose-and-calligraphy-botanical
Guest sign in book/guest note book (bought from Kate Spade): https://www.katespade.com/products/for-the-mr.-mrs.-guest-book/147930.html?cgid=katespade-root&dwvar_147930_color=142#q=wedding%2520guest%2520book&start=2&cgid=katespade-root
Guest reception seating table poster (bought from Etsy): https://www.etsy.com/listing/243820730/instant-download-printable-seating-chart?ref=hp_mod_rf
Guest ceremony seating poster (bought from Etsy): https://www.etsy.com/transaction/1123613751
Guest reception place cards: https://www.etsy.com/transaction/1123613753
Wedding bouquet inspiration (we're getting our flowers done by florists at Whole Foods. They seem to be doing a great job so far and very knowledgable, not to mention MUCH cheaper than a regular floral shop!): http://imgur.com/0RwwtIx
Other greenery decor inspo (centerpieces and aisle runner): http://imgur.com/a/Tvpwf
Ceremony backdrop inspo: http://imgur.com/wrce5k8
Wedding cake inspo: http://imgur.com/Uhfxgkv
Bridesmaid dress inspo (Bridesmaids all chose their own dresses in this general style and color!): http://imgur.com/a/PyKVI
Sweet teacups I brought back from a trip to London to give to my bridesmaids the morning of the wedding -- plan on drinking mimosas in them. ;) http://imgur.com/a/1r7kH
Wedding night lingerie (bought from Victoria Secret)!: http://imgur.com/z8XXqRc
Our photographer: http://www.christieconyer.com
That's all I can think of at the moment, but I will add anything in the comments if I think of anything else. :) Is there anything you ladies can think of that I'm missing? Good luck planning. <3
**Extras: We hired some friends to play as a jazz combo during the reception, and friend to play the hard during the ceremony (we're both musicians). At the beginning of the ceremony, FH and I are leading a worship set together (me singing and playing guitar, and him on accordion -- I'm a worship leader, so it's a big and important part of our lives and will be very meaningful to do for us).
Our first dance will be to Come Away With Me -- Norah Jones, and father-daughter dance will be to Love Me Tender -- Norah Jones (played by the jazz combo and sung by MOH).
We're having a seated dinner with a house red and white wine (only served during dinner to save $$$), with the appetizer a caprese salad, and the main course is either steak or pesto salmon, with asparagus and horseradish au gratin.

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Questions	Answers
Why do you in particular want a nice wedding? Is your partner splitting it with you? What kind of cool shit are you getting for that money?	We want to have a massive party for our friends and family - most of the invitees are our friends rather than family or family friends. Many of our friends and family are poorer than us. We want to have a party they will all remember, entirely on us.
	Our friends have always been super generous to us, and we both now have very well paid jobs, we own our house (well, mortgaged), our jobs are rock-solid recession proof, and frankly we dont need this money for anything else right now.
	Cool shit? Basically we are going to try to recreate a mini Secret Garden Party Festival in a riverside meadow. Most of the "cool shit" doesnt cost money though - our friends are helping us make decorations, DJing etc. I guess some pretty cool uplighting in the trees and a decent soundsystem count.
	The money is mostly going on the marquee and facilities (toilets etc), a sit down meal, and its driven by the number of guests and the fact that we have to provide EVERYTHING as its in the middle of nowhere with no electricity. We are also covering flights and accomodation for poorer family members who havent all got together in over a decade (if at all, in the younger kids case).
	My partner is willing to split it with me and has the savings to do so, but my income is currently a lot higher (though hers will rocket), so I may insist on bearing the vast bulk.
Could you break it down where all that money is going? I'm struggling to think about what could all add up to 40k.	Believe it or not, it is £40k without anything especially "luxurious" (although I appreciate many of the below things are a luxury to most people, its not expensive champagne and cavier).
	The main drivers of the cost are the number of guests (180), the location (middle of a meadow with no structures or electricity) and the meal (3 courses sit down - I admit this is a luxury)
	A large marquee (cheapest option we could find for the size), lots of tables and chairs, a seperate kitchen tent.
	180 guests for a 3 course sit down meal @ around £55 a head including linen, service, etc - this is expensive primarily because the wedding is in the middle of a field so all cooking equipment needs to be portable.
	The bits that really add up are things you dont immediately think of, that you take for granted in a building-venue, like electricity generators, kitchen tent, hard flooring for the dance area, toilets (seriously, so expensive to hire if you need disabled access for the elderly) and lighting.
	We are also spending a lot of money flying poorer family members to the wedding and for their accomodation.
	The bill for booze and entertainment is a bit more reasonable by comparison.
It's gonna rain something fierce! Best of luck though seriously.	If it rains, it will be a real shame as the main point of our site is to be outdoors in the woods and by the river (and not being at a physical building venue is heavily driving the cost), but we will deal with it. Don't assume, from the cost we are spending, that we are precious. Neither of us will be crying if it rains, we will just get everyone into the marquee, get the music going and have a great time regardless.
don't you think that money could be better spent?	On us as a couple? Not really. We own our house and our incomes go up every year with little reason to think (in our industries) that this will change or our jobs will be in jeapordy. Our immediate families are also catered for.
	On the world at large? Yes. Definitely. We could give the money to charity and this would objectively be a much better use of it.
	But try persuading any 28 year old to give £40k in savings to charity (we both already do already give several percent of our income to specific charities we support and both volunteer). Call it selfishness if you like but anyone who would do so is a rare and noble exception.
	Our relationship is rock solid - we arent spending to compensate for our issues or to avoid dealing with them. We are really having fun planning this party.
My wife and I put on a amazing wedding on the beach with 5-star food served as tapas and did it all for $5,000 of our own money	Congratulations, that sounds lovely. We have 180 guests and many or most of them would not be able to afford to attend a destination wedding, so this was not an option for us. The point of spending so much is that a) we can afford to and b) many of our guests cant.
	In short, we are throwing one of the best parties most of the guests will ever go to, and paying for it all because we can!
	I am spending more than $5000 on flying poorer family members to the wedding, for example.
One of the most extravagant parties most of your guests have ever been to maybe, but the 'best' is purely subjective.	That's true, but as I've said in a response to another comment, we are trying to recreate the vibe of a UK festival (Secret Garden Party Festival), which the bulk of our friends regularly attend with us... so its a reasonable bet that it will be relevant to their interests.
Btw, we did not have a destination wedding. We live in Jacksonville, FL so the beach is right here... we had a 135 person guest list and about 115 actually came.	Awesome! But to recreate anything like that for us would be a destination wedding. There are no nice beaches here :P.
	And as I said a big chunk of the cost is helping poorer family get here.
It is just hard for me to wrap my mind around that much money going away in a 24-hour period.	I think they way to think of it is in terms of what it will mean for each of the guests. Effectively its a $350 experience for each guest, all of whom are people that we genuinely love.
	I am very, very lucky to have had the education I had, but I worked (and continue to work) incredibly hard (70+hours a week, enormous responsiblity and stress) for my current financial situation so I dont apologise for it.
In addition to your yearly income, can you give a ballpark net worth? I mean this is totally different if it's your life savings to this point versus 1% of your trust fund.	I dont have a trust fund or any wealth acquired from any way other than my own hard work. My family are not wealthy.
	I work in London in a finance job and am very well paid (£80k-£120k depending on bonus), but work 70hours+ a week.
	My net worth is probably around £250k, most of which was lucky/smart property purchase 3.5 years ago (London has gone through multiple years of double digit property value growth since then). My savings are in the region of the cost of the wedding plus a contingency, but growing all the time. I add at least £35k to my savings/pension each year.
What is your income? Do you own your home? Any debts?	I have an income in the £80-90k range plus a discetionary bonus that could put me into low six figures, so pretty high, but 6 months salary is still a pretty big financial deal.
I think we need to know what your financial situation is to ask relevant questions.	I have spent the last 6 years paying off debts and building savings and I own my home with a mid % mortgage. The last 2 years have been exclusively focused on saving for this wedding (and I hit my target 6 months prior to the wedding date).
At the end of the day it doesn't matter what other people think. If you can afford to spend that kind of cash on your special day with your fiance, I hope you have the best day of your life and a marriage that lasts a lifetime. Congratulations, friend.	PS: obviously my salary figures are in pounds, so for dollars add 60%.
Amen on the savings comment. I'm 34, retired last year. My SO and I are expecting our first child in August. Everyone wants us to get married but I think the institution is seriously flawed and the celebration is a frivolous waste. But that's just me.	When you get to a certain level of income, most marginal purchases can be characterised as a frivolous waste from one perspective or another. I dont consider the amount of happiness this even will give to the 180 guests to be a waste, but its ultimately a subjective call. But who better to determine how to spend my hard-earned money than me?
	I love my work. I dont want to retire at 34 or have the (cost-limited) lifestyle of someone who has retired at 34. I respect your choices, do you respect mine?
So you're really rich and just felt like bragging about it on the internet? Nice.	My income is high, I wouldnt say I was rich (yet), I'm 28 and my family are mostly poor.
	I wanted to do an AMA because so many people on reddit seem to think people who make choices like I have are vain, out of touch idiots and I wanted to address that preconception.
	There is also some enjoyment to be gained tweaking the noses of those who have a chip on their shoulder.
A bit of humility would be respected. I'm still looking for it.	Good luck, I genuinely hope you find it.
It's really hard to say without knowing at least a ballpark of what you make.	I made around £100k this year and my salary grows ~8% a year.
If you make under 100k, you're an idiot for sure.	+60% if expressing in dollars obviously.
I meant I was hoping to find some humility in your post, but haven't so far.	I got it, I was teasing you.
	I dont know, I've stated I'm exceptionally lucky to grow up in the UK, to have a free education etc. But my financial situation is a result of my own attributes, choices and hard work (I guess also good parental role models and genetics plays in too - thanks M&D). I didnt win the lottery or inherit my money, I worked 70 hour weeks at a really demanding job.
	Out of interest what sort of thing do you think an ideal person in my situation have said, humility wise?
You are a dumbass. ...wait that's not a question.	I managed to amass £40k in savings and the best part of a house aged 28 which presumably means I'm not a complete fool.
Why are you such a dumbass?	I dont think it is dumb to spend my own, hard-earned money on something I feel will give me an even return in enjoyment. I derive a lot of pleasure from generosity, and hosting this party for all my loved ones really does it for me.

Last updated: 2015-05-10 12:29 UTC
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